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Cat Jones Poem
Oranges, reds , yellows and browns are the colours of the leaves falling all around.
There’s now a cold crisp to the air
Searching the closet for warmer clothes to wear.
A hat and gloves now that should do, do you think it’s colder this year too?
The squirrels are preparing for the long cold months ahead, and the birds migrating to warmer places instead
Autumn the time for harvest and darker nights.
Shorter days and when the moon shines extra bright.
Pumpkin picking and sweet giving on Halloween night.
Bonfire night next and colourful fireworks fill the sky.
I hope you enjoy autumn just as much as I.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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Cat Jones Poem
Innocence, what bliss . Hand holding, hugging and a simple kiss. What being young and in love is all about having love for this entity without a doubt! Something about him makes me smile and that innocence lasted a while.
That day was different kinda tense, that was the day he stole my innocence. The gentle was now rough and bare , I didn’t fight him I was too scared, he took it without asking , without my consent that’s the day he stole my innocence.
Days and months went by but at night I still cry. I now hear his voice in my head the boy I once loved I now wish dead.
It’s hard to deal with the trauma and emotions when really all I want is to overcome them! Now it’s hard to find the bliss since the day he took my innocence.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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Cat Jones Poem
Going lower and lower… and this time I know about it. But instead of fighting I’m just watching myself go down the rabbit hole.
It’s waiting for you Alice. The hare and hatters party. But when I arrive at the table there’s nothing but crumbs ans cold pot of tea.
Cheshire Cat isn’t smiling, and the flowers aren’t in bloom. In fact it’s gloomy today not a golden afternoon.
No playing croquet with queen of hearts and the roses are actually red. No deck of cards to paint with white, and the tweedles they are dead.
Walking through wonderland without an ounce of hope.
Then I see caterpillar choking on a lung full of smoke.
Being stuck down the rabbit hole is one of my biggest fears… then I hear the whispers “we’re all mad here”.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Jones Poem
Sometimes i crave to just be alone, then I feel guilty about the family I have back at home.
Not that I don’t love them or appreciate them at all. It’s just easier when those low moments call. Sometimes the silence is too loud to bare.
Sometimes the numbness is too much to care.
It’s all about balance and control of the mind, but it seems I lost that in this one of mine.
Between being a mummy, a daughter a sister and a friend I still sit here and wonder when will this feeling of isolation end.
I’m stuck in my head with thoughts as the walls and memories the floor and the voices inside them still wanting more, being stuck just isn’t enough, act on what we say and listen to us. But I know they are not real I know they aren’t really there. I hate this I don’t want it no more it just isn’t fair. I want to be happy be the real cat but something is stopping me and I can’t help that.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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Cat Jones Poem
Mind is racing thoughts won’t stop, help me someone I’ve had enough. These last few months have been quite rough but as a mum you have to be tough.
Spiralling out of control I can feel it, feels like I’m falling into a bottomless pit.
I’m sick of this .
When will it end when will I feel okay.
“It’s okay cat just take it slow, day by day”
But that’s not enough . I want more out of life than feeling despair, feels like I’m drowning , gasping for air.
Significantly always feeling lost and alone, feels like my house is no longer a home, just a place for them to judge me more … stuck inside these same 4 walls.
Where is my exit where is my escape? Maybe there isn’t one maybe it’s too late.
I just don’t want to be here anymore … feel like dying every day more and more, how can I express myself with everyone on my case… so I just push it all down and put on a brave face.
I’m okay everyone I am just fine …. But I’m really not fine like all of the time ….
Everyone seems to know what’s best for me! Except the person that actually doesn’t well it seems to be me.
I hate this I want to be myself again … to laugh with my kids , family and friends. But it’s all fake call it a lie when really I’m sitting here wanting to die.
I can’t see a way out of this hole that I’m in…
I started a letter for all of the kids . Explaining I loved them I really did. Past tense of course because that’s what I’m leaving behind … a paper full of words for someone to find.
But I couldn’t put it into words how sorry I’d be for my children losing their mum , losing me.
My friends losing a mate , my mum a child and my partner a wife… but I’m ready to give up on life.
The voices are louder than usual tonight . Knowing I’m battling a losing fight . I am the loser I’ve already lost … and my life well that was the cost .
I’m scared it’s quite daunting I don’t want my kids to find me in the morning … lifeless no warmth left inside me thing is I feel like I’ve died already
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Jones Poem
Things are looking better, brighter than before , seems I’ve pushed all my demons in a room and was able to lock the door.
Being a mum is the best thing and I know that I do it well, I give it my all, I try my best and have picked myself up when I fell
I’d give anything for my babies, they are reason to carry on, they are the reason I have to fight these demons they are the reason I stay strong.
I have been through a lot and the last few months have been rough. But knowing it’s all for them well that really is enough!
A reason for living a reason to stay alive, because I have 4 angels standing right by my side.
Not enough words can express the fact that they truly saved me… because I can’t give up on myself , my friends or my family.
My family helped build me when I was broken many times before… they picked me up piece by piece when I was shattered like glass on the floor. I thank them all for everything as I turn a new page of my chapter, my friends helped me gain trust in life through smiling joking and laughter.
A new beginning and an end of sad times as we get on with the rest of our lives.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Jones Poem
My lover my best friend my partner in crime,
I feel so lucky just to say he’s mine.
The warmth I feel when he looks at me,
He’s got loving me right down to a T!
I mean yes we fight and we argue like hell,
But we also laugh, love and have fun together as well.
We share a lot of memories but have different dreams, but we’ll help each other achieve them because we’re a team.
He wants a life off the grid and to live off the land.
Where as I want a beach life with sun, oceans and sand.
But we share our hearts and give each other a lot of love and make sure one and other know that they are enough.
I love the fact we can share our dreams and fantasies, the fact that we make each other our one priority.
I love you my darling with all of my heart, I can’t wait to say our i do’s and till death do us part!
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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Cat Jones Poem
Most flowers bloom but that’s not me and you were like the leaves at fall they don’t bloom at all. Some petals dry on the winds they fly, that is more like us, crumbling to dust.
Some seeds they grow just like our love for sure, through the grit and dirt we’re going to make it work.
The trees they sway when the days are long but just like us they’re still standing strong!
The rain it pours causing thunder storms , puddles galore , drowning with no air, smiling with out a care I just need you more.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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Cat Jones Poem
The real me has been taken. Out of reach like a high shelf. I’m someone else on the inside but on the outside I look like myself.
The words out of my mouth are in my voice.
But when it comes to saying them I really have no choice.
Dying inside, without a purpose . But smiling face out on the surface. I know there’s people who need me and I know I will survive. It’s just hard to fight the thoughts sometimes of not wanting to be alive.
The other me is nasty, really bad piece or work… a complete and a personality of a jerk.
She is pure evil, a devil in disguise and I know she is wrong but I still believe her lies.
She says I am nothing without her, like I can’t think for myself. Not only that but she tells me what to do as well!
The real me is happy, care free cat! But she’s hidden away by that twat!
But I’m sure real cat will soon come to light.
I can’t be the only one tired of this fight.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Jones Poem
Dreams are incredible things, from being invisible, fighting dragons and having feathered wings. Dreams can be fun and exciting , daring and scary and so enticing.
Some dreams you fulfil your destiny and some dreams feel like they truly are reality.
Dreams can be frightening full of spooks and gore, where some dreams end leaving you wanting more.
I find myself dreaming and feeling so scared although I know this so I go to sleep totally prepared.
Ready for a battle but the fight takes its toll.
This is more than a dream but a conquest for my soul.
Dreams are incredible things.
Copyright © Cat Jones | Year Posted 2023
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