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Hillary Goding Poem
What am I waiting for?
I am waiting for the day I find a place where I belong.
I am waiting to swap my pain for compassion.
Waiting for the strength that is yielded by embracing the hurt.
The kind that brings wisdom through the dirt.
They tell me how strong I've been.
They see me smile and hear my laughter, but miss the hurt in my eyes.
I would rather be rude than let them see me cry.
I put on a mask that I don't want them to see.
The hurt and sadness deep inside me.
I'm ashamed to feel the way I do.
I just miss you and want to honor you.
Every time I say your name I feel nothing but pride and love.
Although I am waiting for this crippling pain to leave.
I have the strength to go on because of the love you gave me.
That quiet strength is what I want the world to see.
The love I have for you I will never hide.
And when you ask about my daughter you'll see nothing but pride.
I'll never regret that you came into my life, only that you're gone.
The tears that fall are not a sign of weakness, they are the sign of the love inside.
I will always have the memories of my little girl.
She will always be my whole world.
The thing I can't wait for the most is just to be back again with the light of my whole world.
Copyright © Hillary Goding | Year Posted 2023
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Details |
Hillary Goding Poem
My cousin started molesting me at the age of 9. He said, “Don’t worry you’ll be just fine”.
You told me I was special, said I was great but when my sister walked in she fell in a faint.
I finally met my master, King- H.
King said don’t worry I’ll make you feel great.
You want freedom? I’m your means of an escape.
Eager faces with open eyes and empty minds.
Day and night, with no release in sight.
Cotton, needles, blood, and bruises.
From 9 to 5, I pray to stay alive.
The drugs are gone, I am so sick.
Time to go, to turn a few tricks.
Filled with loathing and so much hate until I hit and yes, I feel great!
I say how did I end up here?
Incarcerated for the next 19 years.
I hate this addiction, this awful beast.
You said you would give me freedom, a means of release.
But all you did was break me and made me lose faith.
I will serve this master no more, you’re the one I hate!
As I lay down with a feeling of bliss, it’s only after my reality hits.
There is still life inside where all the demons hide.
I’m finally beginning to fix the broken pieces inside.
Finally, starting to see a new view on this life.
I am a new person, nothing like my past life.
I am no longer filled with hate inside, maybe it’s compassion or some pride.
I let it all go, I’m a new individual, finally free to grow.
I know this road is not easy, not made to please me.
My life is on the line, so just watch and see me.
Copyright © Hillary Goding | Year Posted 2023
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