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Janay Benjamin Poem
Since my skin isn't light enough
my life does not matter
but to believe that I can be nothing
Is to say that faith has no fate
For as long as I am the holder of my destiny
Oppression shall not be part of my manifestation
Yet you kick me when when I can't pick myself up
And still I reach beyond the suppressed
As in this time White does not rule supreme
The simple fact that I'm a Colored girl is not the problem
That mirror I stare in is what triess to control me
It tells me I'm worthless when I'm worthy
And tries so hard to shatter me
But still I stare into it hoping that answers arise
And as i realize that my mirrors image won't change
I take a stand against myself and look towards another day
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2010
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Janay Benjamin Poem
An abusive relationship? Nope not me.See I have something called a threatened
love life. It started off sweet.Him wanting to take me to the ends of the earth. Gave
me Jewry,diamonds,car,anything you could imagine. So did I accept the gifts
from him.Nope I told him that I didn't want all that and that all I needed was him.
He still didn't get it all I wanted was him. A threatened love life was what I was
asking for. So what happened?Well I started to notice changes. Lies about
everything. Then I knew this love was falling apart. After I told him the love for him
was gone he went and found it else where. How did I solve it?Solve what. You
know the threatened love life situation. Easy I went to our....my garage grabbed a
hammer smashed out his lights,windows,and mirrors. Then made sure I gave
him some un fixable dents.Was that all. Not even close. Then I went and got all of
his things. Took them outside and set them up in flames.Waited till he got in and
when he arrived he knew what was happening. There was no way I could take
him no more. I turned him towards the door and told him to get the stepping. A
threatened love life no more I'm sure.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2005
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Janay Benjamin Poem
Dear Mr. President,
How wise of you to let America the land of the free and the home of the
brave suffer in the same warfare you put our troops through. How coward of you
to hide in the nick of time while your precious country be destroyed by the very
people you gave our money to. How selfish of you to keep all Black, White,
Spanish, Japanese, Asian, and Philippine soldiers in Iraq just so you conquer
another piece of land to fill your void for power. How ignorant of you to even run
for president when you know all you bring to this state is chaos. Have you thought
of the thousands of family members that were relatives of the September 11th
victims? Why would you leave the people of Hurricane Katrina to die while you
rest peacefully on a trip playing golf? You call yourself a president I call you
hypocrite. Why would you want to bring about the destruction of all the American
citizens that elected you as their leader? The death of America has come about
the end to mankind as we know it. For those fools who elected you Mr. President
thanks to you they have dug they're early grave. I have just one question to ask,
have you even noticed the death of this country? I don't believe you have. Your
head so far up in the sky you didn't realize that the death of America was you.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2006
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Janay Benjamin Poem
If only they knew all the heartbreak I've been through they wouldn't ask all the
questions that they do. If only they knew my deepest darkest most secret feelings
they couldn't judge me the way they used to. If only they knew how I felt inside all
those peoples ridicule would turn into saddened pitty towards me. If only they
knew what my actions indicated they'd never blame me for all lost matters. If only
they knew why I block myself off from the world they'd probably be blocked off
from it to. If only they knew how much thngs really meant to me they'd stop me
from harming myself to fulfill my destiny. If only they knew why I stopped my heart
from believing they'd bring me someone to my trust into. If only they knew why
love wasn't an option for me they wouldn't tell me I wrong to hate. If they only
knew the truth to my depression I wouldn't have to suffer all the pain I'm in. If only
they knew the real girl behind the mask I wouldn't have to constantly hide my true
identity.If only they knew how hard it was to live this life they would understand
why I don't want to live it. If only they knew the scars left from past times they
could understand my hearts wounded to. If only they knew how threatened it was
to feel happy they would dare not to ask me why I'm mad. If only they knew why
exactly I hated myself they could learn from my mistakes and start to love me. If
only they knew all lifes little dirty secrets they would always be led to believe mine
was the cleanest one. If only they knew really how hard life was they'd cut like me
to stay out of it. If only they knew
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2005
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Janay Benjamin Poem
Silly girl get your mind out of the sky and your head in the books. He prefers a girl
with brain over a girl with just looks. Silly girl pick up you pride and unravel your
confidence. You can't always have someone to cling to you have to have some
independence. Young lady protect your temple and show some respect. You
keep showing off what god gave you ,you will live in your regret. Silly girl
upcoming woman you are but a little child you have been. You have to keep up
with your age your not ten. Silly girl of you to go against what your mother has told
you to do. You mother is a one in a million and a one of a few. Silly daughter don't
let that boy fill you head with nonsense. Listen to what mind is telling and lead
with you head and not your body. Silly mother box up your past and unpack your
future. This little girl needs a positive role model to look up to. Silly woman throw
away your disrespect and take back your frame of mind. You can always change
your ways but you can't change your heart. What a silly girl you were and a great
woman your are now. I'm proud of you so keep that point of view.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2006
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Janay Benjamin Poem
Your going to love every curve of my body every shape of my thigh. I'm thick I'm
blessed you'd love to caress this queen of desire though I'm sick and tired of the
stress. How should I react to the world around me " Ay shawty let me grind". Peak
into my mind and know that I carry the pain of love in my breast but still I digress
and push on. And to talk about move on you'll soon know of the black curves,
swerves, dips, and turns I have up and down, left to right, side to side, and night
tonight I'm going to make some noise for my superior black, white, hispanic
mamasita's or little mama's that have that god given thickness they try to get rid
of don't put a lid on your body let it show let them know how beatiful your creator
made you.
Black curves
Back curves
Up curves
Front curves
Wouldn't you like to have some of my curves.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2006
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Janay Benjamin Poem
I was good to you. But you just insisted on leaving me.The moon was full and
shining bright. And I needed my midnight fantasy. I couldn't believe my eyes
though. How you could go with one friend to another friend. Although my fantasy
was in play I didn't want it to end. You would yell at me and beat me to my shame.
But still we lit the candles and had dinner with champaign. Why couldn't I have
that respect for myself. And know the dawn to dusk abuse was not ok. It was only
because my midnight fantasy would leave me feeling fantasized so in my mind
he would lay. You put one arm around my waist and the other on my neck. I felt
sorry for myself you nearly strangled me to death. Oh but midnight fantasy I have
one question to ask. When will this nightmare in the evening end. Because this
love has just stabbed me in the back. You were my midnight fantasy but I hate
you and love me.
Signed,
a destroyed mistress
called death by evening
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2005
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Janay Benjamin Poem
A battered life,
The shedding of a thousand tears,
Love wasn't an option for me anymore.
The thought of suicide drove through my mind,
Crazing me to not give a care about myself,
Or how I exposed myself to all those men.
I was careless, didn't care, didn't respect them....or myself at that.
A broken dream,
The pieces of my life tossed and burned,
A doorway past a disastrous deceit.
But still for those men I stood nakedly,
They touched me in places I couldn't believe,
None of this was a nightmare but reality.
I was careless, had no regretes, and took everything for granted.
A desire for attention,
The swirling of my body onto a mans lap,
A stage for me to occupy.
I didn't want to do it, sell my body for money,
But there were two little boys counting on me,
So I did what any desperate mother would do.
I was careless, lost my pride, lost my virginity all to my prostitution and got my 2
kids taken from there only hope in life.
CARELESS DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKE!!!!!
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2005
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Janay Benjamin Poem
The aversion of the girls beautiful voice crushed her years to come. As they
casted her out of group activities her determination for everyone's exaltation
became the border line to her soon to become hated life. For every step she took
out onto the excitement devoid stage her heart dented in twenty miles. The whole
student body was against this young lady because her beauty glorified the
heavens. Other children envied her talents and tormented her daily. One kind
hearted yet cold hearted girl commiserated her for the simple fact that she once
was that little girl.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2006
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Janay Benjamin Poem
I can not be the indignant ingnorant being you try to bestow upon my reluctant
shoulder. To be the definition of an undefined soul is to be able to be the
mentality wise free liberal butterfly I strive uphold. The individuality you try to take
away from me is like a constriction of personalities all colliding into one person
the same word unspoken person. Anyone any one individual would be nothing
without uniqueness, I would be meaningless pride ripped without some kind of
creativity. My conformity has stood upon any responsibility that has or will be
heaved in my direction. so dare me to drop my identity as Mr. or Ms. Unrivaled to
gain the identification as your invisible essence. I dare not, I stand above all
restraints. But to disown my inherited being, being me can and shall not be.
Copyright © Janay Benjamin | Year Posted 2006
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