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Best Poems Written by Caitlyn Mclean

Below are the all-time best Caitlyn Mclean poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Platonic Soulmates

I never knew growing together could bond us for life
For as long as I can remember you were my life
When everyone wanted to push me down you picked me up
No matter how long we go without words it's like time is non existent 
I cannot count the number of times I thought about you
I began to think you forgot about me
Everyone does at some point 
The battles of spelling tests to school bullies to being torn from eachother 
We fought together and I hope we always will
I believe I loved you and for all I know I still do but I need time to learn to love another
We have the history of course and I know that you're probably the one
We walked down the isle once as kids
Perhaps one day it'll happen again but when we're older
Just like our mothers hoped
Every birthday and trauma, you were there but now I need to make new memories and keep you as a friend 
I still tell you more than I tell even my friends closest to me
Because low and behold I can't and won't stop loving you
You are my bestfriend and I never want to be apart
But until I find out if I'm loved in return by someone new 
I cannot go back to you

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Lines In the Porcelain

My skin is a delicate porcelain.
Never used, and well taken care of because it is fragile.
Always on display because fragility is beautiful until it actually breaks.
One wrong move and it chips, followed by a crack then ends up shattering.
Lines to me are cracks in the beautiful porcelain I called my skin that used to hold me together.
The lines grew deeper with each one to become more visible.
A cry for help that nobody sees until it is too late. 
Lines led me astray and out of touch with everything inside of me, teetering on the edge, my skin was set in motion
Begining to fall with no hope of being caught.
Catching me after I fell was pointless because by then I was already shattered. 
The red rivers had already been drained.
I soon fell again and like humpty dumpty I couldn't be put together again.

Now I'm just broken, dropped one too many times because the lines grew too deep.

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Weekend Syndrome

Weekends are supposed to be for relaxing,having fun and catching up on tasks from the week before.
Some people do the aforementioned things but for me, weekends means suffering and anxiety.
The second I step off that school bus and look at my house, along see is empty space and sadness.
Of course there are many things to do but my body and mind go out of sync and shut down.
Because no matter how hard I try, I always feel like I'm not good enough. 
My siblings get the attention, I get made fun of, but it's just a joke right? 
It's always just a joke, but with every "I'm just kidding" I see a truth. With every "I'm sorry" or "I love you" I see lies. 
Isn't it so funny that I can look at someone who hurt me and forgive them countless times because I'm used to it?
I think it's absolutely hilarious because while everyone is laughing and having fun around me, I feel empty and stuck like every room is too loud yet too quiet, too big, yet too small.
I thought I was alone in this but a friend recently gave this feeling a name and I love it. 
Now that I'm older and just deal with it, I diagnose myself with a sickness I suffer from called "weekend syndrome".
It's not always there but from friday night to monday morning I feel it, deep in my bones.
Holidays are the worst because the syndrome is mentally jarring. 
Nobody has noticed anything weird since I was 11 so I just keep going.
Weekend Syndrome is not for everyone but it's definitely what I live with.

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Never Enough

Society sets standards of perfection
The patriarchy has decided that all women must act like ladies
Prim and proper, do as you are told.
For years men set the stage for the "ideal women"
Perfect hair, perfect body, always on their best behavior
We stand up for ourselves but are told not to be foolish.
We are told to hide our bodies if they do not fit the standards thrust upon us,
But the moment that we do, we are no longer loyal, and proper.
Most girls are told to achieve perfection, 
But few, just want to be good enough for someone to love her. 
She hopes that someday, someone will see that perfection is a construct of the past.
Wanting nothing but to be accepted as she is.
She never wanted nor needed to be perfect,
She honestly, just tried to be enough.

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Like the Girls I Read About

I want to be loved like the girls I read about.
With such intensity that when their lips touch, it feels like a soothing fire of passion
I want to feel like I'm the oxygen he needs to survive.
I don't know if I am the kind of girl guys can love like that,
In an all consuming, I can't let her go because she is all I ever want kind of way.
I tell myself that one day somebody will see me with a desire and need Iike Aaron Warner towards Juliette Ferrars or Augustus to his Hazel Grace.
Not denying himself the simple pleasures of taking what he sees as beautiful, a roller coaster that only goes up, and having the exception.
The person who, when we touch my skin feels like an electric current ready to zap anything and anyone that will neutralize it.
Alas, this love only exists in the works of fiction but I still hold out hope,
Hope is a dangerous thing but so is believing in the love we read about.
My flesh resting upon my bones is slowly dying as we all are but we hold out hope,
Because without it humanity would die off.
Without the believers believing and imagining and sharing their desires hope would not exist. And we would not believe in the fictional realms we'll never get to visit except when in the pages of our favorite stories.
I just want to be loved like the girls I read about in books.

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Books Are Liars

Fairytales have ruined love.
I mean this the sense that they get our hopes up,
Only for our hearts to be crushed. 
Shoot your shot and follow your dreams is what they teach us. 
Getting each and every child's hopes up for a happy ending, only to have it shut down. Every hour of everyday makes us lose faith in our own futures.
No matter how hard we try, each time it ends too soon. 
We miss our chance, we fall out of love. 
What the stories forgot to mention is that everything comes with a price, not just magic.
Children grow up thinking every boy is a prince and every girl is a princess that will treat them right.
We seek comfort in the stories we read in books because they help us see that reality is not as great as it seems.
Words allow us to tell our stories good or bad, because perhaps it can help someone understand,
imperfections do not make us. 
When I say that books are liars what i really mean is they tell the hard truth behind the sorrow.
Allowing a window to glimpse a part of yourself lost in a world where you get your happy ending after all.

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Falling Off the Deep End

I told myself that you were off limits

I promised that I would not fall

But I lost that battle early on

With each joke and laugh we share, the less I want to hang on.

The edge is drawing near.

I don't want to fall, but I'm not ready to jump

My lifeline is growing shorter, 

Each laugh is like a gravitational pull

I can't hold on much longer

The reason why I won't jump is replaced with an encouraging one.

The water is shallow and I know that

A leap of faith is all it takes

I keep drawing back, letting fear take over

I can't be scared forever can I?

To keep fighting makes me weak, but you give me the strength 

One day I will let go, but how do I know that you'll be there to catch me if I fall?

Little do I know, I fell a long time ago.

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My Internet Boyfriend

It started out slow
And then it got serious.
I thought it was just a game until you called me kitten
Feelings got in the way when I saw your face
You were trouble from the beginning and I knew it
Using your words in a way to tease and seduce me
Many limits were pushed when I talked with you
Sweet, peaceful and innocent turned into naughty, scary and real
Nobody knew, you were my little secret
Until I was told that you loved me
Perhaps you really did, but then you got clingy
Which turned into overprotective
You made me think that you were all I needed
Getting scared was next to normal and at first it was fun 
But unblocking you and allowing you to call me baby was my mistake
Fear made me answer and apologize
Your gas-lighting and guilt tripping made me think it was my fault
When I promised I would not leave, it was a trap
Laying that trap for myself was terrifying
Even though I loved you, I had to let go
The toxicity was suffocating
I do not regret backing away, deleting and blocking you
As a matter of fact, I am proud of me
Thank you for making me stronger and teaching me what my worth is
You were the mistake that needed to happen

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Is It Meant To Be?

I found someone who loves me
I had nearly given up on friends and love.
He came out of nowhere and shattered the walls I had built around me
Convincing myself that I was unworthy was a way to cope
But now I have someone i can count on to love me
Being myself never seemed an issue and his hugs always hit different
I realised I was falling when my mood began to change without him near
Telling myself over and over that I was unlovable was no use when he smiled
He is my dream come true, my knight in shining armour.
My heart is open and I am terrified of being hurt, but I need to trust If I want to love myself.
You can never know if something will last forever, so live in the moment and let them know you love them. Learn to trust, for it could let you last an eternity.

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Choices Are a Burden

Choices are never easy
Even when they're expected
Things sound cheezy
When no one is respected
Each detail makes you queasy
Your brain becomes clouded
Every nook and cranny
Has now been infected
We know deep down, we might be crazy
But with each detail, it will be debated
Our endgame needs to end with everyone happy
But what happens when we are self destructed?
Our knees turn to jelly
For it is nearly decided
The answer makes me uneasy
Because it was you I wanted
You're all I can see
If only I never hesitated
I could love you freely
and now I daily, am reminded
That it was never meant to be you and me