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Elisia Jarvis Poem
is this the magic of Christmas?
weighing yourself before the festivities begin
eyes on every calorie you consume
smelling the food you know you’ll never eat
it’s a vicious cycle, one i’ll never beat
but i’ll beat myself up
another day of depression
counting down the days ‘till Christmas day
has turned to counting the calories every day
so magical!
all i want for christmas is to
get the stupid thoughts out of my mind
get the scars off of my arms
to find some joy in being alive
instead i'm sat here, alone in my room.
crying meaningless tears that make me feel like a fool
thinking about how many days i have left feeling this low
while my brother thinks about getting presents and snow
‘tis the season to hide in baggy clothes
the time to wear a fake smile just so nobody knows
about the pain in your stomach, the pain in your bones
so merry christmas everyone, just leave me alone
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
too long i have longed
for the feeling of belonging
each day i struggle
to merely get up in the morning
boiling the kettle
buttering the bread
oh how i wish
i was somewhere else instead
one day i may give up
trying to please everyone else
but for now, here i sit
ashamed of myself
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
i laugh at myself
glancing over at you at the otherside of the room
smiling with that charm you somehow always manage to possess
i manage to look away
reminding myself that i can't win a losing game
not against you, anyway
fighting your witty demeanour
and captivating voice
i'm walking right past you
but ignoring you isn't a choice
I'll never forget the day where i first realised
that the game of love began
a bittersweet feeling of loss swept me off of my feet
love
this word could ruin everything i stand for
or change our lives forever
all in the click of a finger
i think to myself
am i too young to feel the way i do?
setting myself up for a journey of ecstasy and heartbreak
love is like a tug of war
pulling from one side to another
but eventually
we must admit
that all games must come to an end
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
red oozing from every seam
of my shell
stinging
like a jellyfish
what is a body?
a home
mine or theirs?
a prison?
punished for
my flaws
the flaws i can’t change?
a clownfish
mind and body mirroring the
image of the striped, majestic, free
creature
if she’s a creature for her
beautiful imperfections
then why am i imprisoned?
trapped: enveloped in
Earths tentacles for mine?
a monster
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
i wake up in the morning
wash not one face, but six
pigments on each side, crawling
to be seen, but never mix
again i change,
but always the same
unable to show all my range
the rainbow is to blame
why can’t i choose one way to be
maybe people would stay
belonging is alien to me
but i don’t let myself astray
the colours have made their mark
forever in my life
slowly losing my light and spark
darkness seaping like wounds from a knife
seen, but never solved
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
each line i draw
an elixir to my suffering
being safe is a bore
i give up on recovering
my life, my hopes, my dreams
nothing left to gain
another day not clean
numbing all the pain
this laborious cycle of hurt
life dictated by a number
and my future in the dirt
when i retire to endless slumber
nothing hurts anymore
the hollow labyrinth of my mind
envelops me with every word
and though i’m trying hard to find
a place where my voice is heard
i know my friends are worried
but i couldn’t care less
doctors abstract words, hurried
i just need to get it off my chest
i can’t do this
fighting everyday
no i can’t do this
there must be another way
so nothing hurts anymore
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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Elisia Jarvis Poem
when i first met you, i thought that was it
the sharing of smiles
the glances across the room
i was besotted with you.
i truly believed it was going to work
the holding of hands
the locking of eyes
i believed that it was us against the world
and now it’s broke
hope will forever remain
the intertwining melodies of our lives
your necklace that i still wear
our paths may cross again some day
but for now it’s broke
broken by you
and me too
Copyright © Elisia Jarvis | Year Posted 2022
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