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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
i wonder if i broke your heart,
if you’ll write sad poems about me
if you’ll wonder why i left you
i wonder if i gave you issues
you’ll carry on to the next
i wonder if you’ll always question
if what you have is real
but
i didn’t mean to hurt you that night
and you’ll never know the real truth
but
wasn’t it true that i was scared
and it hurt my heart
to watch you fight
but it was futile
because i knew that for once
i had to choose myself.
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
I hope you are doing well, love.
hope that even though I am not,
you are smiling
without me.
Hope that you don't know what it feels like to
miss me
the way I
miss you.
Hope that you will never know the
heartbreak
of waking up from a dream
where we were still together.
To find I can only
find you in my fantasies
It's unbecoming
of me to keep coming
back when you keep running.
Its something
I'll never understand about myself.
The way I love unlovable people.
Still,
I hope you are doing well,
Love.
I hope you're doing better than me.
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2022
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
I grab the lighter,
Watch the paper burn
And pretend you don't haunt me
Pretend I still can't feel your hands,
Around my throat
Over my mouth
And with every puff I take
I find ways to shove you
Deep
Deep
Down
Just like everything else
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2022
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
When you called me,
I knew I’d have to tell you this time
I wanted you there
Looking me in my ing eyes
When I told you what you did
But you already knew
So you told me to spit it out
And all you could say was
Im sorry
“Im a bad person
Im sorry
Are you ok?”
So I said yes.
Because I was sorry too
Sorry I met you
Sorry I let you
Violate me
I was sorry that I let myself hope
You could actually be
Sorry
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2022
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
I loved you once
And frankly
You’d never deserve it
But I loved you,
Once
Maybe twice
And now that I don’t
(Love you that is)
I wonder where the sparkle in your eyes went
Or why your smile looks so dull now
That my kisses can’t brighten them up
Because I breathed life into you
While you sucked it out of me
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2022
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
i will never understand
why
you felt the need to take from me
what i would have given
willingly.
i tried to be
ok
with the way
you violated me.
but after that night
your touch never felt the same
and when you held me
i felt suffocated.
and i guess my body knew
before my heart did
that i was not
ok
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
The night was cold on the balcony
Of my old apartment complex,
5 stories in the air,
Gave me a great view of the trees.
The only light was the streetlamp
And the stars
And the moon.
And I wondered
How the air would feel
Whipping through my hair.
And I wondered
If the pavement
Would be a good pillow.
And I wondered if,
After my body
Touched the ground,
I would still feel alive.
I didn't take a leap tonight,
I didn't think of it two nights prior,
I don't think I'll ever jump.
So, I'll keep to myself,
These thoughts I have,
About the thrill of soaring.
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
I'm not so bad these days
I only cry when I’m drunk
and even then
I wonder
if I’m even crying over you
Because I flirt again
And I giggle
I even blushed the other day
And it wasn’t
because of you
I wear makeup again
And clothes I like
Im even going on a date
Im not that bad these days
I really am getting better
And I wonder if soon
I won’t feel bad at all
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
I ruined the picture of you
I created in my mind
Unplugged the vacuum
That held the me and you that were in love
Because when I call you
You don't answer as fast
And when you say my name
it sounds different
And it will be easier to let you go than the others
Because I've had so much practice
But I don't want to give up on us
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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Vanessa Rodriguez Poem
Losing My Sad
Im losing the ability to craft
Heartbreaking poems
Because you ease the pain
That overflows my body to the point
where I feel like my seams are ripping
And your eyes are light enough that I can see the truth in them
And your smile is bright enough to scare away the nightmares that plague me
And I wonder if its such a bad thing
that im losing all my sad
Copyright © Vanessa Rodriguez | Year Posted 2023
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