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Freeland Browning Poem
Driving home from the liquor store,
completely void of worry,
I reached behind for my bag of weed
and I felt something large and furry.
I couldn't remember taking the cat,
though my memory often fails me.
I was sure a monster was in the back
and at any moment was planning to kill me.
I drove my truck into a field
and jumped quickly out of my cab
I thought this animal was for real
and any moment would surely attack
I laid there hid in the bushes
for it must have been an hour
I wanted to run but couldn't.
I was afraid of being devoured.
I mustered up the strength I'd lacked
to approach my truck of horror.
I was holding my prized case double X
and was crouched down like a soldier.
I screamed to scare whatever I'd find
as I jumped threw the open door
I knew that I may not survive
and my life might surely be over.
Holding my weapon overhead
I attacked my enemy quick
and stabbed my villian to his death
and scattered him all over my seats.
I'll never drink again. I swear.
and no more weed for me.
All because of that Teddy Bear
my wife hid behind the seat.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
For Christmas I bought you a mustang, with dice hung from the mirror.
But the IRS came and took it away and gave it to your leader.
Now Biden drives it on Sundays. Hunter takes his turn.
He drives much faster than daddy cause his dealer is leaving real soon.
They took it to the west coast where they took the motor out.
Turned it to electric so it wouldn't make a sound.
Now it doesn't go so fast now but you look really good when driving.
They painted it with rainbows and photo bombed with Biden.
Now the best car on the road just ain't so great these days
since Joe and Hunter Biden let Pelosi have her way.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
If you can't tell the truth,
then what is the use
of us having a conversation?
just talk to yourself
and believe what you will
and double your participation.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
Grandpa at an oyster
Grandpa ate an oyster.
Ran Grandma through the house.
Luckily he didn't catch her
or she'd punched him in his mouth.
He had never eaten an oyster before.
It made him very horny.
She swore that if he ate one more
she would divorce him in the morning.
Grandpa begged, "oh please oh please
Just try a little bite".
So Granny ate one like he asked.
She no longer wanted to fight.
She threw ole Grandpa on the bed.
Proceeded to have her way.
Thank goodness for these oysters, she said
I won't need our neighbor today.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
Daddy and me cut a Christmas tree.
We drug it from the field.
After loading it in the pickup truck
Dad hopped behind the wheel.
You know my boy, when we get this home,
your momma just might fuss.
The tree is too small or maybe too big.
our thoughts won't matter much.
Just stay quiet. Let's do this her way.
Momma knows what works.
Dad was always like that.
He thought of Momma first.
You know my son, when you love someone
as much as I have loved your Mom.
Opinions won't matter as much anymore.
All that matters is time.
So when you get older and find someone,
don't worry about what doesn't matter.
Just cherish your time. You both will be fine.
Fill your life with love and laughter.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
Christmas cards and credit cards
and lists of much to plenty.
It's choking Daddy half to death.
They think I'm made of money.
Give me this and I want that.
It's more than I can do.
All the money in the world
is never enough to suit.
So I'll tell you what I'm gonna do!
Just You Mark My Words!
I'll bow my head
shut my mouth
and go quietly back to work.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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Freeland Browning Poem
Sister turned the TV up
when Momma started crying.
They towed our daddy's truck today.
I remember the cables grinding.
Brother watching cartoons
while playing with a toy.
He never even understood
when the pain came to our door.
Daddy stood and bowed his head
near the wrecker in the yard.
There was nothing he could do
Last month they took our car.
Daddy started walking.
He never turned around.
They said he walked to heaven
But it doesn't matter now.
So Momma never talks too much.
since we moved to Carolina.
Sister turns the TV up.
When Mamma starts a crying.
Copyright © Freeland Browning | Year Posted 2022
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