No More Drinking For Me
Driving home from the liquor store,
completely void of worry,
I reached behind for my bag of weed
and I felt something large and furry.
I couldn't remember taking the cat,
though my memory often fails me.
I was sure a monster was in the back
and at any moment was planning to kill me.
I drove my truck into a field
and jumped quickly out of my cab
I thought this animal was for real
and any moment would surely attack
I laid there hid in the bushes
for it must have been an hour
I wanted to run but couldn't.
I was afraid of being devoured.
I mustered up the strength I'd lacked
to approach my truck of horror.
I was holding my prized case double X
and was crouched down like a soldier.
I screamed to scare whatever I'd find
as I jumped threw the open door
I knew that I may not survive
and my life might surely be over.
Holding my weapon overhead
I attacked my enemy quick
and stabbed my villian to his death
and scattered him all over my seats.
I'll never drink again. I swear.
and no more weed for me.
All because of that Teddy Bear
my wife hid behind the seat.
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