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Anne Dietrich Poem
'Breaking the Trauma Bond'
Do you still like me?
Let me count the ways.
The tired old familiar abuse,
The ugly scowl,
The “get outta here’s!”
“Don’t give me that kind of sh..t!!”
Vile venom heaped upon an unwary lover.
I’ve been sucker punched, again.
Fallen for the antics of yet another
Unwilling, unable, unstable, and uncommitted to anything
Other than his own pain and confusion.
Oh, good!
Someone NEW to hate!
I know what comes next.
The gifts I have given
Treasures I’ve shared,
Regard, respect, admiration, adoration and affection
Willingly offered
And received,
Crudely discarded.
Run through the disposal
Put out with the garbage
Neatly packed and
Hauled off to storage.
Archived with
All the other
Past violations,
Slanders and
Cruel rebuffs.
My body is crushed.
My spine is mangled.
My nerves are seared.
“I don’t NEED any more PAIN!”
I wail
Mentally shuffling through
Well-worn files of
Past encounters.
Rage rises,
The Ogre is demonized.
Humiliated and dis-graced
Tears fall from fresh wounds.
I take refuge
In dreams resplendent
Of laughter, pleasure
Joy and enjoyment
Where wishes of the wisher are fulfilled,
Where food and delight are found.
Fueling fond fantasies of nobility of character,
Decency and courage
An Equal.
Bitter tears cease,
Fury finally fades.
And yet curiously,
The guilt remains.
I choke on the olive branch of forgiveness,
Again.
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2022
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Anne Dietrich Poem
There’s a certain feeling
When you close the door behind you.
Freedom that comes
Only with emotional safety.
I don’t know where
I don’t know how
Not ever sure why
I accepted an invitation to spend the rest of
“Our lives together”
Fast forward a week: red flags
Fast forward two weeks: " "
Fast forward a month
He’s a goner.
“You were willing to fight so hard for this
I couldn’t be that kind of guy.”
Huge, rolling, waving-in-the-wind Red Flag.
Everything crashing down in heaps.
Got the picture?
Sleepless nights
Abandoned days
ALL WE HAVE IS HINDSIGHT.
Reminding me painfully of the time before
And the time before that
And the time before that.
Cannot recall the steady reliable influence of anyone
Except the brutal rage of a tyrannical father,
cruel sabotage of the evil Stepmother,
And jealous antics of the Stepsister.
Cinderella had it good!
How do I deal
With the pain, the shame, the confusion, and guilt
Failure, embarrassment, mutilation, and horror
Of yet another
Failed Relationship?
Pain so intense
it wakes me at
3:00 AM ruminating miserably
Good enough excuse for morning.
I am as emotionally crippled as
The Tin Man without oil.
Four baths a day
Ice cream by the tub
Mind if I smoke?
Just tell me where I blew it.
Never will I ever share another man’s bed
Until I’ve seen his spots
The mask has slipped,
And he stands
As emotionally naked
As I require of myself.
Intimacy that brings you to your knees
(on knees that no longer bend)
I never believed in recovery.
Until I closed that door
Locked it
And barricaded it.
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2022
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Anne Dietrich Poem
Buckwheat and quinoa
Ghee for me.
Off to the store
To buy some more!
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Anne Dietrich Poem
Kisses are delicious.
They are nutritious.
They're good for you,
They're good for me,
Come and let me kiss ya,
A daily dose will do ya.
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2023
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Anne Dietrich Poem
Buckwheat & quinoa
and ghee for me.
Then off to the store,
To buy some more!
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2022
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Details |
Anne Dietrich Poem
Hot hot from the pot
The Earl of Grey
To start my day.
We sit and chatter
About this and that
Socrates and Plato
And things like that.
From a distant past
We flow through time,
Unfolding a future
Of precious dreams of mine.
Copyright © Anne Dietrich | Year Posted 2022
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