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Kat Kro Poem
I hear whispers on the wind,
That times are changing,
But that change will never come fast enough.
But still I dream.
I think of the two of us together.
Laughing, embracing, dancing.
She still owes me a dance. But I know I will never get it.
Even if she does like me, being out is like being pulled onto a sinking ship.
Destined to drown.
It's better to pretend. Pretend that those stray touches were simply friendly. That those extra texts and compliments were simply kind.
So once again I dream.
We are walking through the woods together.
Hiking is what we both enjoy.
We hold hands for part of the trail
it is deserted
we finally have peace.
But that is only a dream. And everyone must wake up.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
Powerful as a winter wind gust,
Pretty as a spring lily,
Warm as summer sun,
Fun as a fall leaf pile.
All encompassed in one person.
Flawed but beautiful.
I watch with admiration at the
Strong
Independent
Woman.
And I wonder to myself,
Whether I want to be her or be with her.
I force that tightness in my chest down.
Impossible.
They say to be anything you want,
But not this.
They would never accept this.
This would be inconceivable.
So the thought of inner peace fills my heart,
And I realize I am alone.
Whether I want to be her or with her is irrelevant,
Because neither will happen.
I dream of a day when I am loved.
When I live freely, in the open out of the cloud of despair.
The comfort of the cloud keeps me trapped
Once I leave, I cannot return, and I cannot stuff it back into a box.
But living under the cloud my whole life
Makes me cringe, cry, cower
I think it easier to love no one than to ever fall in love with the wrong one.
We are there walking on a beach,
Together like my grandma and I used to walk all those days ago when I was a little child.
As the sun hits her hair, I think how blessed I am to have found her.
The warm salty breeze blows her hair across her face, and I see her smile.
I feel the squeeze of her hand.
She is next to me. Now and forever. My love.
Fair, not at all.
Slowly torturing yourself. Exactly
Imagining futures that you have no business thinking about.
Imagining being loved while being too cowardly to show the world what you really are.
Putting yourself in the worst positions, for the sake of a stupid organ that has gotten you nowhere.
That stupid heart that skips too many times and more often than not you wish would stop beating altogether.
But when you’re alone and you look at her, you see something you shouldn’t, and you feel a connection that isn’t there.
That can’t be there. She doesn’t care for you. No matter how much you want those looks and stray touches to mean. They don’t. Nothing more than two friends. Guest, not date. Alone, not together.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
Lines,
Not of cocaine,
Not of paint,
Or kids,
Lines of blood.
After the emotions have built a fire in my body
Large enough that it's a 5 Alarm
Alarming.
The emotions spark and ignite
And that fire is put out as soon as the cool blood rushes out.
The lines got boring so they became a square
Not as easy to hide.
Maybe it's a bigger cry
A cry for help, a cry of pain
A cry
For prom, these lines and squares will look fabulous
The true scars of childhood and the teen years marked into
My skin
My brain
My heart.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
This little heart has led me in all the wrong directions.
They tell me to follow it.
But should I?
Should I risk it?
Even if it is a horrible idea.
Its nearly pulling out of my chest.
I can’t love her.
I can’t love her.
Because her beautiful smile would fade,
And her bright laugh would dull,
And I would ruin her.
But this little heart has led me in all the wrong directions.
And once more she crosses my mind.
She reminds me of a lifeboat,
Floating in the chaos,
Calming yet exhilarating,
Savior and solitude all together.
How could she ever love me?
This little heart has led me in all the wrong directions.
The leaves fall, the temperature drops and it continues.
Months on months, and she fills my head.
Like a lifeboat on the horizon she is all I can think of.
Reaching her is the first real gulp of air,
In what feels like centuries.
And somehow it seems this little heart has led me in the right direction.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
Maybe I love her,
Maybe I dont.
But this feels like something much more than
Friendship
Her face,
Her laugh,
Her smile,
I wish it were all different.
I would love her with all my heart
If that's what she wanted
I would give her everything I had to give.
I wouldnt care what they said or thought.
Because it would be worth it for love.
Maybe I love her.
She is so much of
Everything
So much perfect in one person.
Perfect.
Maybe I love her.
Despite how far down I pushed it.
It just keeps rising back up
I think its love.
I hope its love.
It better be love because
Living without her sounds like hell.
Maybe I love her.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
I've always been too much,
Too fat,
Too loud,
Too bossy.
I've always taken up too much space.
But really I've always felt like not enough.
Not enough.
Not enough pretty,
Not enough nice,
Not enough happy.
Not enough.
Knowing damn well
I don't take up any space
in the hearts of the people
I love.
Now I feel too much.
When I feel too little,
Numb,
It's easy to solve.
I drive fast,
Waste money,
Waste blood.
But feeling too much is something I can't fix.
And I'm beginning to wonder if it's the sort of thing
That has a more long term solution.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2022
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Kat Kro Poem
Maybe I should forgive him,
Maybe he has changed,
But every time I try to
that terrified child within me sheds a tear.
She never wanted any of that
She just wanted safety.
She cries as I try to wash myself of the dirt
The dirt of childhood, the grime of adolescence,
I scrub until the skin is red and raw,
but it will not clean.
Now she is crying.
I feel if I forgive him that
I wrong her.
She never got an apology.
The terror still haunts her.
Copyright © Kat Kro | Year Posted 2023
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