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Alex Kellas Poem
Catching that old train
the express you and I took again and again
i find my Ipod throws up sad songs
And my mind transports me back to you.
To see those I left behind
How theyve grown and changed
But mostly how theyve stayed the same
Was good.
just good.
Some reunions do not require linguistic exploitation.
But I will not lie.
There was an absence.
Behind me on the dancefloor.
Elbow to elbow at the bar.
There are so many shadows even under spotlight.
You haunt me when I return to that old town.
Who knew geography would cause me so to regress?
There are no ghosts in London
There is no absence in these step soaked streets.
But to return, to return.
Is to stop running and to turn and greet.
So I apologise for the 2 am call.
And, I realise, for those times when I said nothing at all
When what I should have said was
Though you hurt me.
Just hurt me.
Some emotions do not require linguistic exploitation.
For a while you were my navigator
and shaped my vision.
How can I condemn that which formed me?
How could the flower ever blame the honey bee?
I would not be as aware of my laughter now
If it had not muted.
I would not be what I am now
If i had not grown.
And we grow best in dirt, as all things do.
Thoug dont misunderstand it was mot always dirty, but always enveloped in you.
You raised me.
Both to womanhood and from that grave
which I dont like to look down
But going back to that town
How could I not?
In that old town
How pointless to say do not haunt me
You're in my marrow and my stride.
In many ways you are in my smile, for who called it up so often?
Copyright © Alex Kellas | Year Posted 2008
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Alex Kellas Poem
After dawn has malingered through my window
I lay my swimming head down
and as I drown I dream of you.
I dream you walking towards me
and echo of things said
in dark explosive nights
which in the sober day are made real and whole,
I dream the poetry of the greats rising from your mouth
which I once knew
and silently I cry out and out
I do not love you.
I fear those around me
bodies finally failing 50 hours after our excess began
hear me call out my denial drenched memories.
I wonder now if they watched
my face when I dreamed
would they see yours?
I find myself in a new town
with a new place to hit the floor,
and yet still i run towards breaking point
in all the beautiful damagin ways I know.
I wonder when you are truly gone from me
from my vessels
from my veins
who will I blame
when my body finally caves once more.
when the boundaries crumble.
when the dark is no more my friend.
when the night fails me.
when once more I find solace only in savegery.
when my heart expires.
You have not seen me dancing on the ceiling of the room.
You I fear will only remember my eyes dark
from those dark days
forgetting our blazing nights.
So I inhale, I swallow down somethings
I will not choke.
Forgive me if I don't eat
If I loathe sleep.
Its the painful normality
I want to escape from.
Its things long gone I crave
and cry for
when at last I hit the floor
and my own foolishness closes my eyes for me.
Copyright © Alex Kellas | Year Posted 2008
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Details |
Alex Kellas Poem
Like a fool
Im inviting you
come into my home
my past
my bed
my heart
though I fear the order will differ.
You never do live up to what you say,
Like a fool.
Copyright © Alex Kellas | Year Posted 2008
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Details |
Alex Kellas Poem
I will see you again.
I cling to this thought.
It goes some way
to clearing my mind
to settling my stomach.
No tears.
No stage show of emotion
for there is no point.
I will see you again.
From memories both raw and hazy
we will not fade
but breathe into again.
See me reborn in the sunshine.
You rarely did see me in the light
of day.
I give space.
I wish you peace.
I ask only that I will see you again.
Copyright © Alex Kellas | Year Posted 2008
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