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Best Poems Written by George Stanworth

Below are the all-time best George Stanworth poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | George Stanworth Poem

If I'D Picked Up a Snooker Cue

If I’d picked up a snooker cue, when I picked up a pen;
and then gone on to build a break of eight or nine or ten.

If I had only listened more to those who understand;
who told me not to play the game by using just one hand.

If I’d just watched Big Break much more, instead of writing
rhyme;
and studied Foulds and Knowles instead of Byron all the time.

If I’d just gone and bought more chalk, and even used a tip,
upon my cue, then thought perhaps to practice just a bit.

If I had researched Virgo’s words instead of Wilfred Owen;
and written many papers on ‘Where’s The cue ball going?’

If I had only listened more to whispering Ted Lowe
instead of sometimes listening to Pam Ayres in full flow.

If I had studied Parrot’s wit and Alex Higgins flair.
instead of Larkin, Betjeman, Wordsworth or John Clare.

If only I’d heard Snooker Loopy played a little more,
instead of writing verses that sometimes never rhyme!

If I had just stayed up all night to watch the grinder ‘Cliff’,
and not penned many rewrites of Kipling’s poem ‘If!’

If I’d just seen the final frame in Nineteen Eighty Five,
and had a longer tape cassette which didn’t then rewind.

If I’d thought of a funky name like Jimmy ‘Whirlwind’
White,
or ‘Scarface’ or ‘The Rocket’, one which would excite.

If I had done these things I’ve said, then yes I’m sure, I
know it.
I would have been a snooker star, and not an unknown
poet!

(Based on Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘If’)

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I Think That We Can Win This Year's World Cup

Recent tournaments, alas, indeed,
have not gone quite as planned, we must concede.
Now Southgate’s got the tactics that we need,
and we are going to succeed, succeed.

Together let’s unite and all desire,
the English rose to bloom that little higher,
which should ensure the team goes to inspire,
and give the lion’s roar more fire, fire.

?Pre-Chorus
I think that we can win this year’s World Cup.
I hope it’s not a dream where I wake up.
For if we go and get some better luck,
we can make our rivals come unstuck,
and we can be the best team,
we could be the best team
of them all, all, all, all, all..

Chorus
We’re England, England,
Hawking, Pankhurst
and Bobby Moore.
England, England,
Harry Kane is bound to score.

We’re England, England,
Hawking, Pankhurst
and Bobby Moore.
England, England,
Jamie Vardy or
Harry Kane will score.

?
Everyone behave, on, off the pitch,
and make sure that the plans do not all glitch.
Show some pride, but also show respect,
and don’t do anything you will regret.

Pre-Chorus
I think that we can win this year’s World Cup.
I hope it's not a dream where I wake up.
For if we go and get some better luck,
We can make our rivals come unstuck,
and we can be the best team,
we could be the best team of them all, all, all, all, all..

Chorus
We’re England, England,
Daley Thompson
and Bobby Moore.
England, England,
Harry Kane is bound to score.

We’re England, England,
Southgate’s heroes
and Bobby Moore.
England, England,
Jamie Vardy
or Harry Kane will score.

?

Details | George Stanworth Poem

I Think I Need a Wee-Wee

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘But we’ve just got in the car.’
‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘But we haven’t travelled far.’

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘But we haven’t left our road.’
‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘And we’re still in our post-code.’

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘But we’ve only gone a mile.’
‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘Can’t you just hang on a while?’

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘Another one already?.’
‘I think he needs a wee-wee now.’
‘Surely not your Teddy.’

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘Can’t you just hang on?’
‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘We won’t be very long.’

‘I think I need a wee-wee.’
‘I’m stopping here for you.’
‘I think I’ve done a wee-wee,
and maybe done a poo!’

Details | George Stanworth Poem

I Tried To Buy You Flowers

I tried to buy you lilies
but I couldn't see it through,
so I ran off to Ann Summers
for a naughty toy or two.

I tried to buy you orchids
but I felt a little shy,
so left to buy some Vaseline,
and products from KY.

I tried to buy you daisies
but I came out in a rash,
so ran off to the sex shop
for a little 'po*no' stash.

I tried to buy you roses
but I blushed and went bright red,
so I rushed off to the chemist
for some Durex packs instead.

I tried to buy you flowers
but I never had much luck.
At least I've got the other things,
if we want to have a ...

flipping good night in.
  
From my book 'A Floristry of Palpitations'

Details | George Stanworth Poem

Let's Do Letters

Let’s do letters (A,B,C)
Let’s do numbers (1,2,3)
Let’s do puzzles (Piece by piece).
Let’s do lunchtime (Eat, eat, eat)

Let’s do playing (Run, run, run)
Let’s do painting (Fun, fun, fun)
Let’s do singing (La, la, la)
Let’s do adults (Blah, blah, blah)

Let’s do flying (Flap, flap, flap)
Let’s do music (Clap, clap, clap)
Let’s do jumping (Bounce, bounce, bounce)
Let’s do Tigers (Pounce, pounce, pounce)

Let’s do catching (Throw, throw, throw)
Let’s do races (Go, go, go)
Let’s do falling (Roll, roll, roll)
Let’s do football (Goal, goal, goal)

Let’s do drumming (Bash, bash, bash)
Let’s do bath-time (Splash, splash, splash)
Let’s do cooking (Bake, bake, bake)
Let’s do parties (Cake, cake, cake).

Let’s do monsters (Rah, rah, rah)
Let’s do laughing (Ha, ha, ha)
Let’s do lions (Roar, roar, roar)
Let’s do Daddy (snore,snore,snore)

Details | George Stanworth Poem

I Aim For the Twenty, But Hit the Mc

I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.
I'm doubting that darts will launch me to fame.
It must be bad luck. How tough can it be?
I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.
I can't let it get the better of me.
I work hard in practice then play the next game.
I aim for the twenty, but hit the MC.
I'm doubting that darts will launch me to fame.

Details | George Stanworth Poem

The Wonder of My Life

THE WONDER OF MY LIFE

Verse 1
‘The Great Wall of China’s’ amazing.
‘The Northern Lights’, such a view!
‘The Pyramids’ are breathtaking,
but none of them compare to you.

‘Sugarloaf Mountains’s’ stupendous.
‘The Leaning Tower’s’ untrue.
‘The Aztec Temple’s’ outstanding,
but none of them compare to you.

Chorus
You’ve the beauty of every great sunset,
each rainbow that colours the sky.
You’re the closest there is to perfection,
and the greatest wonder in life.

Verse 2
Well ‘The Copacabana’s’ fantastic,
and so too is ‘Machu Pichu.’
‘The Eiffel Tower’ is special,
but none of them compare to you.

Chorus
You’ve the beauty of every great sunset,
each rainbow that colours the sky.
You’re the closest there is to perfection,
and the greatest wonder in life.

Bridge
Fearfulness could spout out gold,
and thunderstorms heal sick and old.
Stars could perch on mountain peaks,
yet you would still be more unique.

Chorus
You’ve the beauty of every great sunset,
each rainbow that colours the sky.
You’re the closest there is to perfection,
and the greatest wonder in life.

You’ve the beauty of every great sunset,
each rainbow that colours the sky.
You’re the closest there is to perfection,
and the wonder I need in my life.

(This lyric was a finalist in the 'Lyric Only' section of the 2014 UK Songwriting contest.)

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Details | George Stanworth Poem

Dirty Word

"I love you more than breakfast"
(I said on our first date)
You thought that I said "Brexit",
and punched me in the face!

?It wasn't like you had a view.
You didn't really care.
But every time you heard the word,
it made your nostrils flare.

?The first time we heard Davis speak,
he mentioned "Brexit" twice.
You screamed and then karate chopped
your deluxe custard slice.

At other times you were quite shy,
friendly, mild and kind.
Our relationship grew stronger
as our hopes and dreams aligned.

We bought a flat together,
but couldn't watch the news,
and never bought a paper
in fear of Johnson's views.

The neighbours were confused at first,
as when they said the word,
you'd want to drop-kick something,
like an ornamental bird.

You rugby tackled Zimmer Frames,
and slid on every table.
It didn't matter if you heard
Corbyn, May or Cable.

Then one day you heard the word,
and didn't get upset.
You didn't want to kick a hedge,
or fight a football net.

The word no longer caused you,
to get annoyed and terse;
but then you heard Trump make a speech,
and you acted ten times worse!

Details | George Stanworth Poem

There's Never Any Toilets When You Really Need To Go

Miles and miles from Services,
and waiting for a tow.
There's never any toilets when you really need to go!

?Listening to wedding vows,
or going for a hike.
At times you need the toilet when the moment isn't right.

?Your parachute won't open.
You're screaming 'No, no, no!'
(There's never any toilets when you really need to go!)

Stuttering on Dragon's Den,
or in a twitter fight,
(and beating Katie Hopkins), now the timing isn't right!

You meet the local gangster,
who wants the cash you owe.
(There's never any toilets when you really need to go!)

You have to give a sample
at the Doctor's, and you know -
There's far too many toilets when you really cannot go!

?

Details | George Stanworth Poem

That 'Moonlight' Moment

I sent a Haiku
to a Rondeau contest. I
won it! Or Did I?