Warranty Poems


Premium MemberUnder Warranty Maigc 9

You don't want to taste my crazy,
I will smile straight into your threats;
Just let me be;
What I need? Is to be left alone;
I am not one of the bourgeoise,
stay unaware of what I'm capable of;
My behavior no longer under warranty,
control is one of my strongest assets;
I warn you do not tempt me.
Categories: warranty, anger, emotions, feelings,
Form: Other

Premium MemberA Better Warranty

If priests sold used cars and
Used car salesmen sold heaven’s land 
Would you get a better warranty of faith -
In hand
Categories: warranty, car, fun, funny, life,
Form: Blank verse


Premium MemberWarranty Declined

Seems that with nearly every purchase nowadays for a fee,
Sales representatives want to sell you an extended warranty!

I reckon that's fine should you purchase a washing machine or car,
But the warranty that I was offered today I thought quite bizarre!

A warranty for a disposable camera didn't make a whole lot of sense!
I bought it at the Post Exchange for four dollars and ninety-five cents!

The cashier rang it up and I was dazzled at what the computer displayed!
"For ten bucks you can buy a warranty for the purchase you just made!"

I ain't the keenest guy around, but I considered such a deal a peculiarity!
I astutely deduced, "Gee, I can buy two cameras for the cost of said warranty!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories: warranty, funny,
Form: Couplet

Warranty

An appliance has a warranty,
Right there in black and white.
You can get your money back
If it won’t work just right.

And purchasing a car provides
Assurance in two styles – 
It’s guaranteed for either months
Or, which comes first, in miles.

The human body does not have
A paper that imparts
The promise of the life imbued
In all its many parts.

So sometimes organs need repair,
Especially with age;
And when such breakdowns happen,
It is very hard to gauge.

Your heart may suddenly decide
It’s thumped its final beat;
Or possibly, your knees get bored
With holding up your feet.

Your retina may think it’s time
For it to just detach;
And maybe hidden cancer cells
Wake up and start to hatch.

Sections of your brain may feel
They’re kind of overloaded.
Liver, kidneys, pancreas
May start to look corroded.

Symptoms warn us, sort of like
That dread check-engine light;
Then we must take action
To bring order back from blight.

Just think of how much easier
And calm our lives would be,
If, with our birth certificates,
We got a warranty!

Ilene Bauer (http://primetimerhyme.blogspot.com)
Categories: warranty, funny, lifemay, cancer,
Form: Rhyme

Warranty

Do you have your eternal warranty?
Did you remember to purchase extended maintenance?
Did you see the hidden costs?
Did you know where to search?
Will you expire before your warranty is secured?
Spirited life has no expiration date.
Categories: warranty, hope, imagination, inspirational
Form: Free verse


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