nobody sees you the way I do
in your wheelchair
with your unopenable arms
where everything crashes to a gray twisted landscape
my brother
alpha male
of demon strut clashes
in our shared childhood
once you flipped your hockey stick between my thin legs
to see how many stairs I'd tumble down
your yells to me to "toughen up"
cursing a younger brother
"bookworm sissy"
"vanilla boy"
to expletives that ran like tap water
when proximity was a contact sport
at the care home
to your lips
I spoon in pudding
its dull tranquility
vanilla
into a body that feels itself liquid, limbs pliable and porous
I'd like to re-touch our brotherly photos
to change them to accuracy
or crumple them like a wasp nest knocked to the ground
for nobody sees you the way I do
for nobody knows you the way I do
I’m an unopenable door waiting to be cracked open, exposed to the natural but
yet fresh humanity. Such an infinitesimal amount of air escapes through the
cracks, just taunting me. Showing what I can’t have, but giving me such small
doses it taunts me. When will that key be discovered, and open a concrete wall in
front of me. The bleak amounts of light only omit pure injustice. Give me what I
want. It’s not there, the figure, the human being that will be that discoverer. This
absence of light is eating away at my flesh; everything needs light, pure light, to
live. For this just erodes my skin, until it drips to the floor, of an ungoverned
society. A society so weak it won’t even be governed. A society so weak, that it will
not provide for its fellow parts. My society won’t allow this to happen anymore.
The brain in my head throbs from a recollection of what is to come, pure
excitement, and pure hesitation. The anticipation accumulates, which rubs the
society against the blades of a democracy. Bring yourself forward, and try your
key into a rusted lock.
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