love at least as I knew it
was blatantly bleak I suppose
love had been wasted on morbid findings
lost beyond repair had I been in love
with love or perhaps thee mere objects
of affection clouding all logistics beliefs
of what love should be at least love
as I knew it could I in some way change
the way love turned out if I myself
fell madly in love with the idea of loving myself
could one actually love themselves
as they consumed love with another being
or was love this impossible challenge
incapable of experiencing without loving
oneself first and foremost and if this was factual
I'd have to be faced with sheer logic
that I'd broken my own heart
knowing full well no one could
love me more than I myself
this preconceived notion
had broken everything
I'd ever known completely
thee unamendable love
at least as I knew
Categories:
unamendable, love, psychological,
Form: Crown of Sonnets
These vultures were closing in on me,
A thousand unutterable fears bore unamendable holes in my mind,
Absorbed in a stream of thoughts and reminiscences,
All was a vague jumble of chaotic impressions.
Awaiting my summons to the eternal silence,
Buried hopes couldn't rise from their sepulchers,
Fathomless depths of suffering increased
Like a feverish and godforsaken tide of life.
Gathering all my scattered impulses into a passionate act of courage,
Threw a ton's weight of resolve upon my muscles,
And braced myself to the exquisite burden of life,
I failed to drink from the jug of the universe.
My heart flutter with a vague terror,
And my soul is beaten to the ground by the catastrophe,
My sensibilities are now offended,
Because this is my night of fathomless blackness.
Categories:
unamendable, life, universe,
Form: Free verse