Ugbutter Jones had an oversized head
It was enormous, and totally overfed.
His magnephelant shoulders could barely hold it up.
His ears came out like petals on a giant buttercup.
It was chopsqurirelly dangerous to mention his head.
Ugbutter Jones had an anger about it and a pocket of lead.
So we kept our diligent mouths busy, seeing his ugly as beauty.
He was our grandson, so we felt it was kind of our duty.
Grandpa! He would yell when he looked in the tiny regular mirror
Why can’t I see my face? Can you come right in here?
We always had to remind him to squat, next to the pot.
But he did not remember, he truly did not.
His head was quite ugly, and his brains were uglified too.
We named him correctly, Ugbutter, perfect name for this foo.
His magnephelant brain did not hold much information inside.
He was chopsquirrelly silly, his ugliness not easy to hide.
Let’s take this outside
Your turn to be objectified
Necktied offside and brutified
Come step outside
Where you can no longer hide
Now you and me can collide
You’re worse than godzilla’s bride
Torpefied and vilified
Uglified, mean and evil-eyed
Always snide and undignified
Ringside, in your false pride
the eyes of Hitler recognized
Executing his genocide
Feeling justified nationwide
Lately I’ve been preoccupied
With thoughts of homicide
Accident by countryside
broadside you flip side
See you land in the fireside
For all the misery aside
you put me through - testified
Is your meanness really classified
I’m no longer taking it - qualified
I‘m no longer hiding it - quantified
No more excuses - are you satisfied?
Germicide and pesticide
Have you ever tried
To drink a ton of formaldehyde
To soften up your cowhide
Now we can go back inside
Your reign of terror on override
You’re toast and you’re fried
You’re been hogtied and humanified
Stupefied and rectified
Just as prophesized
AP: Honorable Mention 2025, Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on May 16, 2018 for contest 8-MILE STYLE POETRY CONTEST sponsored by NICK TRIM - RANKED 4TH
THE UGLIES
He stood slouched and dirty and hopeless
She was desperately cigaretteless
They were breedless but together
Uglified in a natural way altogether
Uglicity personified
Their mothers would be horrified
No homes, no money, just beggarhood
Together outside Mc Connel’s fast food
(They were prominent users of the toilet)
Scrounging cash for chicken nugget -
Real chicken - beaks and feet -
And stayed for the free cosy heat
Sipping my latte and nibbling a waffle
Eyeballing his coat maybe won in a raffle
They did everything together horribly
The pair were well-matched - ugly .
I watched how they lowered the tone,
Then I left in disgust - alone.
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