My cheeks mopped by tearstains,
heart tainted by swallowed sobs.
Yet somehow, when you listen,
words don't want to be heard.
But don't leave me alone,
embrace me tighter in the night.
Suppress my depression, push it down,
don't let those unspoken words explode.
Don't let them spill out of my heart.
Without you around, I'd be washed away
in a flood of words my own heart spilled.
Pressure, pressure
Why can’t they leave him alone
Today the bay window
Demonstrates a panorama of beauty
He longs to go there
Taste the salt sea
To sail away from all this
Back to Jamaica
To places he had been when young
When laughing in the rain
When there was a now
The future too far away to contemplate
Clouds are gathering
There will be rain in the afternoon
The bay window
Has tearstains from
Too many yesterdays
walking alone with my memories and a tearstained heart
watching the water and thinking about Her
there is nobody here and the chill and the quiet is a perfect combination
the makeshift Christmas tree on the sand makes me laugh for short spell
wishes and regrets then creep up on me and steal me again
i am on spaghetti legs but remain Bountifully Blessed
the water senses my level of unbalance and doctors me back straight
i walk along and reminisce about the company that now dwells in heaven
the skies are blue and the sun is elated
despite the wind being unforgiving, i feel its guaranteed embrace
so many songs pop into my head
i am a snaggletoothed little boy again, impatient and full of energy
i hear you now firmly telling me to go and unpack
now i hear no voices
now i am forever wounded due to my choices
nevertheless i have maternal healing hands that are Heavenly Dipped and Infinitely Divine to reassure me
my walk becomes more confidently erect
my heart beats with pride and valor, pumping the tearstains away
Five steps forward
One
Sing your own lullabies
There are more stars in your eyes
Than in the city sky
Two
Find your own path
Follow the rain
All the way to the sea
Three
Paint your own portraits
Tint your blood with glitter
And swirl sunshine over your tongue
Four
Dance to your own drums
Allow your feet
To draw patterns over your tearstains
Five
Lose yourself in you
Become your own muse
And give a little back to your reflection
Love letters
Seem to be a thing of the past
Do we dare write in long hand?
We have lost something very near
And dear to my heart
For there was nothing I loved
Better than to write the words
I love you.
Signed with a heart.
And to smell the perfume
And cigarettes
And touch the tearstains
Of a hand written letter
With not an inkling of disdain
Lipstick on the outside
In the shape of a kiss
Never to be forgotten
Such simple easy bliss
Another gracious act of giving
Lost to the winds
I hope that somewhere out there
There’s a flurry of airmail yet to be delivered
That says we are all in love.
For I know that one more letter
Would mean more than the heavens up above.
All I can do is wonder.
I'll never really know.
OI'll never get to hug her,
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow,
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted,
a chance to know my Mom.
I know I shouldn't cry,
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.
I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.
Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her,
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan,
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me.
I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind.
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.
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