The Rideau Canal is not recommended
For dunking, it may be less than intended
Your body will reek
It'll reek for a week
Doggie and you will stink to high Heaven
Here's some of my favourite pet peeves
Construction, potholes, and speed bumps
A bald person with a bad fitting hair piece
Or soup with unidentified lumps
Public washrooms that stink to high heaven
Or when someone sneezes nine times
People that pick their noses in public
Kids eating with their fingers full of grime
People making bodily function noises
On a bus, at a concert or in church
Friends that promise a late night ride home
Then get drunk and leave you in the lurch
Mosquitoes, spiders, rats and lizards
Although not necessarily in that order
Someone who totally screws up a punch line
Getting held up for hours at the border
People that talk to non living objects
Like computers, teddy bears, and cars
Handshakes that resemble a cold wet fish
Cracking knuckles, most annoying by far
There certainly is a whole bunch more
I'm sure everyone's got some of their own
It's just human nature so go with the flow
Ignore them and try not to moan!
© Jack Ellison 2013
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