Funny Simile Poems

What, I cannot say,
A feeling something's wonkey.
Like mucking muddy sand at the bottom of the ocean,
Beneath acrobatic, trapeze artist monkeys.
What can be said,
About the snorkeling...

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Abacus yacht boats pleasy
Banana boats are queazy
Catamaran boats squeezy
Dinghy boats all out easy
Eagle Craft boats too cheesy
Fishing boats yet so breezy
Game boats crazy uneasy
Houseboats creepy...

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Do I look like a clown
My hairs black 
My eyes brown
Do I look like a clown
My clock is stuck
My star is down
Do I look like...

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Shaken snow globe disarray 
Stark format unfamiliar 
Relocated mountain ranges
Jacket assets of chameleon 

Wobbled flesh given for return
Eyeballers display dollars 
Fixated focus planted firm
Subject unacknowledged...

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Twas the night
Before Christmas and 
As Santa tries to
Go down a chimney
The fireplace was lit
And his pants caught fire
So, he hurries and 
Crawls back-up the...

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I’ve never really needed ice cream,

just the mention and other’s eyes beam!

Ate a spoonful with such ease,

then my eyes bugged from brain freeze! 

I’d rather...

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Today the gremlins return to me
Sneaking up to bite so nastily
Breathe deeper yet still
Trying to fill
Consume that space within 
Before those bastards can get back...

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My cat likes to sit in the window
He watches the passerby with a cool gaze
And though he cannot speak English
His meows are full of disdain

My...

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An online romance,
like a roasted marshmallow,
feels warm and squishy....

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Smile, a wonderful smile
How far would you go?
To see someone smile.
There are reasons for a smile,
And a meaning to each smile.

There are thousands of smiles
Happy...

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Something Smells


Shall I compare you to a stinky fart?
Your stench is more profound and daunting  
Clean wind could blow such clouds apart 
Yet your...

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"DENTIST"

I called to make an appointment,
it was for a deep cleaning. 
"Friday at 8AM please," I said. 
"Alright, Friday at 8 it is." 
Friday came...

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Marie Lavedette 

Let me start this by introducing her name. 
Marie Lavedette on a shining star its the same 
A women with a smile that...

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I miss you, 
like the sky misses the stars.
like the streets when there are no cars.
like a government that has no laws,
like music, when it...

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In our lives you were forever,
to make us cry, no never.
So many things that you did,
you made us all feel like a kid.
Every word you...

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