Short Woodshed Poems

Nicola was naughty,
She wasn’t very nice,
She bit her mother,
And ate her white mice,
But Nicola’s brothers knew,
Exactly what to do,
They took her to the woodshed,
And sawed her in two....

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"Who done did that?"
      My dad had to know

   I pointed at sister
      Said, "She has to go!"

   Dad wasn't impressed
      Told me, "You get undressed!"

   As off to the woodshed
      We two did go ... 

   Once there, bottom bare
      I thought fast, though voice weak 

   "Hey, dad. It's nearly Christmas ~
      How 'bout we turn the other cheek?"...

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(to a blues riff)

You're a blood red girl
You're a blood red girl
You're a blood red girl, you're a woodshed girl,
You're a good good girl.

You're a good good girl
You're a good good girl
You're a blood red girl, you're a woodshed girl
You're a good good girl.

You're a bloodshed girl
You're a bloodshed girl
You're a spit-curl girl, roller derby girl
You're a good good girl....

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Little Larry came in using a wet puppy as an umbrella
He’s starving, he loves me, he is such a good fella
Where did you find him? He smells like wet dog
Behind Brewster’s woodshed, next to their hog

He is hungry, maybe starving, he needs a new home.
His mother said he also needs a bath and a comb.
We have to keep him, Little Larry argued, he followed me home.
In your arms, above your head? Asked his big brother Rome....

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(This is a fictional poem)

I burned my son's inflatable doll.
He'll have a real woman or no woman at all.
When he learned what I did, he cussed me out.
I took him to the woodshed and he started to pout.

When I found his doll, I was shocked.
Now I know what he was doing everytime his door was locked.
When it comes to my son's love life, it is pretty dim.
Everybody learned about his doll and now no girl will go out with him....

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(This is a fictional poem)

Shut the damn door, it's cold outside!
Shut the damn door or I'll tan your hide!
I'm getting tired of you letting the cold air in.
I took you to the woodshed yesterday and I'll take you there again.

You figure that because you're over seven feet tall, you can give me sass.
I may be shorter than you but I can still kick your ___.
Shut the damn door, it's below zero degrees!
Shut it now or I'll put you over my knee!...

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Pallor of a country worn
The woodshed all forsaken
With God our freedoms were assured
By governments we're taken



"Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear."  

President Harry S Truman...

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There's a tiger in the woodshed.
Safe and dark it lies,
Watching the night with
Brown and yellow liquid eyes.

The sleeper nestles in his bed, 
The tiger kept outside.
No sudden urge will raise its head;
No dark horse will he ride!

The night goes on, and on again
As some nights tend to do,
Moon presiding on the scene,
Lone owl calling, "Who?"

But restless in his dreaming
And dreaming of his sin,
At last the dreamer goes
And takes the tiger in....

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