The Duke and the Dauphin
two snake-oil salesmen in 'Huck Finn'
chased by folks brandishing paddles with nails
ridden plum out of the county on a rail...
Joseph R. Biden and Donald J. Trump
peddling their rancid cologne to the masses
Such a pair of stubborn mules, those two
Let's stick their dunderheads in fertilized mule-asses
Categories:
salesmen, humor, political, satire,
Form: Rhyme
He tried to make a quick sale
The more he tried the more he fail
He held his head down
And felt like a clown
Then start selling through his E-mail
Categories:
salesmen, fun,
Form: Rhyme
Car salesmen are singing the no cars sold today blues
Lamenting this pandemic because baby needs shoes
On commission having to pay back their pithy draw
These salesmens’ feelings are bruised mighty raw
Come get your Fords and Chevies today
Subarus are safest cars in every kind of way
We can bring a car you will love to own
To your driveway - just pick up the phone
Yes the car salesmen are singing no sale blues
Covid 19 for them has been really bad news
If you have extra money coming your way
Would you mind buying a new car today?
Categories:
salesmen, car,
Form: Rhyme
A salesman sometimes helps you out,
But often he does not.
If you are clueless, what he knows
Can add to quite a lot.
Yet there are clerks so in your face
That they become intrusive;
And others hide like jungle creatures,
Rare and most elusive.
The perfect guy or gal in sales
Is patient and attentive.
Commission may be why, but we
Should seem like the incentive.
A knowledge of the products adds
To what they have to tell you.
A pleasant personality
Adds much to what they sell you.
It’s nice to leave a store and feel
That you’ve been taken care of.
A customer who’s satisfied
Gets more than he’s aware of.
Categories:
salesmen, on work and working,
Form: Rhyme
Revolution is knocking at the garden gate
With pitchforks and spoons to guard against fate
The people drench me with milk and holy water
And stare at me as if i slept with their daughter
I stand in white suit and a red tie
I look like a half decent guy
My hairs slicked back and my tongue coated in honey
And i smell like old bars and good money
With a tattered old suitcase in hand
I try to get you to understand
You don't have to sell your soul
That isn't my goal
Just buy some new high quality oven mits
and don't throw a fit
Categories:
salesmen, funny, old, me, old,
Form: I do not know?
"Let's spread the word of the Lord!" they exclaimed
"Knocking on doors - surely none could be blamed!"
It's simply a matter of time
Up the walls we will climb
Our inevitable ire will thus be inflamed
Categories:
salesmen, faith, funny
Form: Limerick