Fat Santa sneaked out of the shop
With bags full of sweets and a cake
The salesgirl screamed out: “Call a cop!
That man dressed as Claus is a fake!”
* - * - * - * -- * - * - * - *
A Funny Christmas Themed
4 liner Poetry Contest
Hosted by Tania Kitchin
Placed 2nd
© 29th December 2021
In many bakeries today
A cake is gently placed
Within a box that’s crisp and white,
A sign of class and taste.
But lately tape is used to shut
The top and keep it closed
So to the outside elements
No icing is exposed.
Still, some old-fashioned relics
Wouldn’t let you leave the shop
Without red and white swirled bakery string
Tied in a bow on top.
The string is on a roll the salesgirl
Wraps around the box.
If need be you could grab that string
And carry it for blocks.
And when you get it home your family
Knows that you did bring
Something really special they can try
With one snip of that string!
The hat was quite a stunner
With a huge and fancy brim.
An older woman tried it on,
It seemed like on a whim.
The salesgirl was encouraging,
Declaring it unique
And certainly, the wearer
Would possess her own mystique.
The tryer-on-er caught my eye,
Like secrets we were swapping,
And said out loud, “It’s just the thing
I’d wear to go out shopping.”
Was that a joke? I didn’t know
But I contained my yucks
Because the salesgirl mentioned
That it cost 400 bucks.
This happened in a gift shop
In a gallery of art.
I left before that buyer
And her hat were forced to part.
Bought an extra supply of stuffing
Cause certain gals keep squeezing it outta me
Don't get me wrong, sure not complaining
Bought some on sale at Target
The stuffing department was filled with us poet guys
All weak and hardly able to walk
I wasn't too too bad
But had to hold on to a salesgirl for a bit
In fact she suggested I go to the stock room
Open the package and put a bit in till I got home
When I got there, there was a half a dozen more poets
Stuffing themselves
I said, “Hey, you guys belong to the Soup too?”
All said yes and all knew this lady from Orygun
If she loves you
She squeezes the stuffing outta ya!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Limerick : Once a Salesgirl who sold silk stockings
Once a Salesgirl who sold silk stockings
Eyed a man who fingered the linings
Stockings stuck on her legs
Made-to-fit wooden dregs
Kept stockings but gave him legs on springs.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
I wandered in the hat store
And there it boldly sat –
Bedecked with bright white flower –
A cheerful orange hat.
Once on my head, it beckoned,
Quite jauntily, indeed,
Attracting more attention
Than a person’d really need.
My husband did encourage;
The salesgirl said – it’s you!
But everything has negatives
And this one had a few –
Like, who knows when I’d wear it
And there’s so much it won’t match;
I guess for every purchase
There’d most likely be a catch.
And so I turned and left,
My hat remaining in the store.
Since I was on vacation,
I can’t get there anymore.
Regret’s a foolish feeling,
More malignant than benign;
And what a fool I was to leave
That hat that should be mine!
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