Royce the night owl dresser had too many drawers.
When he was sleeping, they went along with his snores.
In and out, in and out, shut, open, shut, open, slam shut
When it was the third drawer down, it hurt his gut.
Why am I a dresser? Why not a refrigerator? He said.
A basket, a purse, a necklace or a feathered bed?
I think we each have our own purpose I told my pal Royce.
Maybe in the next time you will get a different choice.
Categories:
royce, dream,
Form: Rhyme
Peeking out from behind the bed was a wide banded raccoon king.
I thought he was a regular raccoon, for I did not know of such a thing.
He bared his broken yellow teeth and gave me a bit of a fright.
You see I was in my pajamas, ready to turn in for the night.
How am I getting him out of here? I asked a 911 operator on the phone.
She thought it was hilarious and told me to write it up in a poem.
But he is a wild animal, I told her. And he is scary and could be mean.
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, and I saw the left one was green.
He’s got a green eye! I said to the operator; there was fear in my voice.
My name is King Rickery Roo Rowdy Rollens Rugubuggy Royce.
He said this with authority, and I felt he might be rather tame.
He sat down and challenged me to a wild monopoly game.
We became good friends, King Rickery Roo and I.
He comes every once in a while when the tides are way high.
He loves my bathroom and my yellow rubber ducky too.
I do not ask, but I would guess he also uses my loo.
Categories:
royce, 1st grade, 2nd grade,
Form: Rhyme
A Rolls Royce will be a nice car for me.
If I want to buy one, it will cost me plenty!
Categories:
royce, car,
Form: Couplet
My wife is driving me crazy, she wants a brand new Rolls-Royce.
She thinks that I'll buy it, she thinks that I don't have a choice.
She's been demanding that I buy her a Rolls-Royce no matter what.
I'm getting very PO'ed and I'm going to break my foot off in her butt.
That witch expects me to buy it and make monthly payments.
I want to throw her off a building and see her hit the pavement.
My friend just called me, he saw her talking to a Rolls-Royce car dealer.
If she signs the papers, I'll hit the ceiling and then I will kill her.
She has spent so much money that I can't even afford to buy a mouse.
Do you know a hitman that I can hire, she's putting me in the poor house.
(This is a fictional poem.)
Categories:
royce, car, funny, humor, wife,
Form: Rhyme
(This is a fictional poem)
A man fell in love with his brand new Rolls-Royce.
But he soon made a very bad choice.
He thought kissing a car would be the same as kissing a woman but he soon
learned it was not.
He french kissed the tailpipe right after driving his Rolls and a third degree burn
was what he got.
It hurt so much that it reduced this idiot to tears.
His mouth got burned so bad that he couldn't taste for an entire year.
Categories:
royce, art, funny, on writing
Form: I do not know?