I was shabby and tattered,
Worn and battered,
Odiferously offensive,
And visually repulsive,
Old and weathered,
Broken and unattended,
Dated and neglected,
An outcast and wasted,
Now 25 years later you are still my wife,
And thank you for reupholstered my life.
Categories:
reupholster, appreciation,
Form: Light Verse
I was shabby and tattered,
Worn and battered,
Odiferously offensive,
And visually repulsive,
Old and weathered,
Broken and unattended,
Dated and neglected,
An outcast and wasted,
Now 25 years later you are still my wife,
And thank you for reupholstered my life.
Categories:
reupholster, love,
Form: Narrative
I walked into my living room
to catch up on some reading.
I set upon my favorite chair
and to my surprise it started speaking!
A grumbling and rumbling from beneath
and the chair huffed, "Do you mind!
It's awfully hard to breathe you know
under the weight of your behind!"
"Every day you sit on me
Without care or notice of my condition
You don't clean or dust me and
I'm not musty on my own volition."
"I want you to reupholster me please...
Make me look brand new!
THen it might not bother me so
to continously bolster you."
"I'd lock amazing in a pattern I think.
Black and blue with a fleur-de-lis?
Or maybe stripes in green and gold!
Think how incredible that'd look on me!"
"Please my favorite breathing creature
Do me this favor I do beg of you.
I know I'm old and comfortable
But please make me look brand new!"
Categories:
reupholster, funnyme, me,
Form: Rhyme