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It's easy to not even start

I say, looking at my barbie doll.

I won't smoke cigarettes, how can you like the smoke?
I won't drink alcohol, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?
I won't take drugs, your eyes will look pumps, I don't want to scare people away.

You know a cup of alcohol is fine, tastes like your coca Cola really.
Cigarettes give you another moment to breath in, 
like it's giving you more time.
Drugs, I just take them because, I don't know how to get away with it.
,,It's easy to not take these things", I always said like a kid.
Still, now, I am wearing make up.
Didn't I swear to never wear make up, because I never want to end up being like "them"?

Why does everything seem harder, 
when time picks you as a surviver?

Copyright © Adna Demiri

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Book: Shattered Sighs