Legends, lyrics
Hello one, hello all and the listener guest. It’s time to recall the mainquest
The Legendary Adventure Moments of Doctor Hermione Baggins the Reddish of Winterhold,
The Master Sith Rainbow Lord Lulu Pucca,
Cloud Kitty Carla Chandra the Ruby Rose,
And Rand O’From Equestria the Darken Raw Snow,
Versus The Strange A.A. or Perhaps B.S. Educated Scotties,
Homer Pilgrim’s Search for More Resources by Destroying the Galaxy,
To Make Way for an Interstellar Lightspeed Railway…
Or Was It a Fishing Pond?
Bribe the GM with a Mountain Dew
Dice hit the table, we’re shouting “No way!”
That nat 20’s a cheat, it’s slippery and sly
Campaign madness, my dudes, Wednesday’s cry
Snack bags crinkle, we’re dodging the rules
Argue the stats like a pack of fools
From pizza to plot holes, we’re raising the stakes
Paul’s going bald ‘cause of players’ mistakes
Apathetic, the game rolls on tonight
“Bidet is that way,” point to the right
Celtic strings hum as the tale unfolds
Drastic GM speaks of treasures untold
Frederick and Scotty plot to flood the stream
Galactic dragons guard the realm’s dream
Heretic in scarlet strides the road with glee
Icteric grins, “Got a problem with me?”
Bribe the GM with a Mountain Dew
Dice hit the table, we’re shouting “No way!”
Snack bags crinkle, we’re dodging the rules
Argue the stats like a pack of fools
Judgematic paladin plans his stand
Kinesthetic monk leaps, kung fu in hand
“Laconic, Lulu, wait—it’s not your go.”
Majestic strides forth, defiance to show
Novelistic cries, “I’ll face mage and beast!”
Optimistic NPC rolls to join the feast
Panic erupts as the druid and monk collide
Quadraphonic roars where heroes reside
Rollick and stumble, the monk rolls a two
Slapstick, the paladin’s sword cuts through
Tragic, it’s late, we must stop our tale today
Unpoetic, I know, we’ll resume next Wednesday
La. la la la, the campaign
La la la laaa, for gain
La la la la, entertain
La la la laaa, for fame
Bribe the GM with a Mountain Dew
Dice hit the table, we’re shouting “No way!”
Bribe the GM with a Mountain Dew
Dice hit the table, we’re shouting “No way!”
That nat 20’s a cheat, it’s slippery and sly
Campaign madness, my dudes, Wednesday’s cry
Snack bags crinkle, we’re dodging the rules
Argue the stats like a pack of fools
From pizza to plot holes, we’re raising the stakes
Paul’s going bald ‘cause of players’ mistakes
Stay tuned for next week’s thrilling episode
Will our heroes stop the villains’ dark code?
Or turn to the shadows, their hearts to bend?
And will Paul have hair left to comb again?
La. la la la, the campaign
La la la laaa, for gain
La la la la
La la la laaa
Copyright ©
G. Jay
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