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The Death of Us, raw emotions lyrics

I drove because I hated me.
I drove because I didn’t understand.
I drove because I am a loser.
I lost.

What did I lose?
The best timeline I could ever have.
Happiness,
Purpose,
A reason.

What did I gain?
Loneliness,
Sadness,
Grief,
Pain.

White for the innocence I left behind,
Pink for admiration, for gratitude in kind.
Red for the passion I buried alive,
Purple, the sun’s crown, her colors survive.
Dianthus barbatus, the flower divine,
Worthy to strive for, worthy to die for, mine.
Dianthus blooms in the crisp mountain air,
In a garden where loss and memory share

Who would have thought 
I wish to go back to the time I almost planned on killing myself
and considered those days amazing compared to the present.

And the worst realization 
I am to blame.
I could blame anything, like those who took advantage of me,
but ultimately, I destroyed me.
And I destroyed us.

I drove away from a storm that had a perfect rainbow at the end.
I drove away to hide from the light and fell into the stagnant dark.

White for the innocence I left behind,
Pink for admiration, for gratitude in kind.
Red for the passion I buried alive,
Purple, the sun’s crown, her colors survive.
Dianthus barbatus, the flower divine,
Worthy to strive for, worthy to die for, mine.
Dianthus blooms in the crisp mountain air,
In a garden where loss and memory share

At what cost?
What did I lose?
The best timeline I could ever have.
Bliss,
You,
A family.

What did I gain?
Nothingness,
The title “coward.”

So instead, I cried for the death of us.
For the death of all these empty years.
I've never found a second bloom
because I’ve hated myself all this time.
So many years addicted to porn, drugs, wasted.

I am to blame.
I destroyed me.
I destroyed us.
So I cried and wept over the death of us.

White for the innocence I left behind,
Pink for admiration, for gratitude in kind.
Red for the passion I buried alive,
Purple, the sun’s crown, her colors survive.
Dianthus barbatus, the flower divine,
Worthy to strive for, worthy to die for, mine.
Dianthus blooms in the crisp mountain air,
In a garden where loss and memory share

Copyright © G. Jay | Year Posted 2025

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