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Suicided Kids

Suicided Kids*
Mothers of suicided kids
   grieve with a guilt
   that arrives  
   immediately… 
taking up permanent residency.

Unbidden and uninvited
   settling in the voided heart space 
   of a dear son dear daughter
remorse... to never leave ever.

A hollow voice stuck on   repeat-repeat
asking the same   questions:
   what did I miss...
   what didn’t I understand?
what could I have done?

One doesn’t get a second chance
   with a suicided kid.
One can never do better.
There’s never a next time
   to try harder.


*term from Sinead O’Connor

Copyright © Sarah Ann Jullion

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Book: Shattered Sighs