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I Succeeded

There is one blade
Two tears
Three drops of blood
I look down to see
I reach out to touch
There are four screams
Five memories
I’m triggered again
I can feel my hands shake
They need to cut and pain
Agony fills my soul
Six little whispers
I feel insane
Seven different emotions
I smile and wear my sleeves long
I cut in the dead of night
So mum doesn’t listen
Eight times I almost died
Eight times I was revived
Nine times I wished that they would let me die
My eyes are not blue
They are black with demons
My heart does not beat
It is frozen with terror
Ten times I’ve laid in the dark
To afraid to open my eyes
I’ve carved the words so deep into my arms
That they are scars forever
Eleven, eleven times I saw the devil’s face
It was as if with every slice he appeared
With every drop he grinned
Twelve times I looked to God
Screaming profanity
And now, it is all over
I lay on the floor
Surrounded by weapons
My arms are numb
One time I succeeded
Once I was dead

Copyright © Sam Spry


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