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Lorazapam rambling
I'm sitting here, don't know what to do
Memory filled with all my time with you
Some are happy, some are sad
Some are hard and full of strife
I know I will not sleep tonight
Where it went wrong is the question
But since 2019 we've been in regression
You were my main source of advice
Do you remember when you called me just to say good night?
I moved away to start my life
You stood in the kitchen and said it wasn't right
But my life just had to begin
I was married, yet you thought I had sinned
I spent my younger days watching you
I watched the tears and turmoil you went through
I was a child your burden not mine to bear
But you and your friends knew how to overshare
You were not always bad to me,
But you always portrayed what you wanted the world to see
When darkness fell and the doors were shut
That was when the real monsters woke up
Always living in fear of his wrath,
To avoid him I used to have a 5 hour bath
Id hide upstairs and not make a sound
Oh how I hated when he was around
But you didn't see it, you acted blind
Even if he beat me you'd take his side
Lying to teachers about my black eyes
I would cry until my tears run dry
Then came along my little brother
And you became a different mother
You were someone who was kind with compassion
He was a dad and less of a dragon
But his hate towards me didn't subside
It just walked around in disguise
The fear for him slowly returned
You were never the least bit concerned
Over the years two more siblings came
I thought that this time he may change
And though I was now 21,
I still walked the house without any sound.
Fastfoward to now and oh how things changed
You and me are now estranged
I reached out and asked you to call
But your silence created a very cold wall
Not only did you stop speaking to me
The lies your telling have isolated me
Friends and family have believed all you've said
To them I may as well be dead
What power you holding I do not know
Despite not talking I'm still under your control
I look at pictures of those that I loved
Their strangers now and I feel so unloved
You and me will meet again
Your my mother until the end
And though you may have stopped loving me
Our showdown must happen for me to be free
Copyright ©
Gogster Dw
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