Lorazapam rambling

I'm sitting here, don't know what to do Memory filled with all my time with you Some are happy, some are sad Some are hard and full of strife I know I will not sleep tonight Where it went wrong is the question But since 2019 we've been in regression You were my main source of advice Do you remember when you called me just to say good night? I moved away to start my life You stood in the kitchen and said it wasn't right But my life just had to begin I was married, yet you thought I had sinned I spent my younger days watching you I watched the tears and turmoil you went through I was a child your burden not mine to bear But you and your friends knew how to overshare You were not always bad to me, But you always portrayed what you wanted the world to see When darkness fell and the doors were shut That was when the real monsters woke up Always living in fear of his wrath, To avoid him I used to have a 5 hour bath Id hide upstairs and not make a sound Oh how I hated when he was around But you didn't see it, you acted blind Even if he beat me you'd take his side Lying to teachers about my black eyes I would cry until my tears run dry Then came along my little brother And you became a different mother You were someone who was kind with compassion He was a dad and less of a dragon But his hate towards me didn't subside It just walked around in disguise The fear for him slowly returned You were never the least bit concerned Over the years two more siblings came I thought that this time he may change And though I was now 21, I still walked the house without any sound. Fastfoward to now and oh how things changed You and me are now estranged I reached out and asked you to call But your silence created a very cold wall Not only did you stop speaking to me The lies your telling have isolated me Friends and family have believed all you've said To them I may as well be dead What power you holding I do not know Despite not talking I'm still under your control I look at pictures of those that I loved Their strangers now and I feel so unloved You and me will meet again Your my mother until the end And though you may have stopped loving me Our showdown must happen for me to be free