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Pickle Balls and Paddle Bells

  ~ to the tune of 'Jingle Bells,' please ~

     
   Tushies slide, what a ride
     slipping on the ice
   All we need’s a beaming bride
    and a few bouquets of rice

   Where’s the groom, in his room
     with Cinderella’s mice
   Stitching up a triple-plus size
     for his buxom bride’s bo-som… ooom!

   It’s Christmas Eve, and Santa’s drunk
     so he can be the preacher
   Administer last rites instead of I do’s
     come morn, he’s ‘Rudolfo Screecher’

   O, Pickle Balls and Paddle Bells
     they’re the tunes we croon
   When the bride screams, ‘What?’
   Spooks begin to strut ~
     by the light of a cardboard Moon

  O, Pickle Balls and Paddle Bells
    the only songs we sing
  When the bride cries, ‘Wha hoppened?’
  We tell her, Popcorn’s Poppin’ ~
     for her wedding meal next June

Copyright © Gershon Wolf

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