Rum n Raisin 14 Pt 2 - The Flight Before Christmas Pt 2
Soon, the sun was lying low, a bright full moon was now on show
Santa switched on Walnut’s glow… “Ho Ho Ho and away we go.”
Walnut played along and led the team of reindeer and their sled
A dog that flies has not been bred… YIKES… it seems he’d been misled
With nowt but air beneath his feet, he’s flying high above the street
He heard the second reindeer bleat, “Walnut’s whiter than a sheet.”
If someone on the ground looked up, they’d see a red nosed flying pup
But he’s not scared, not that brave pup: And yet his bladder’s swelling up
Now flying reindeer when they tinkle, sprinkle fairy dust
But German Shepherds tinkle like a water bomb has bust
So down below the rain, not snow, was something of a riddle
A man without a brolly said the rain smells much like piddle
He looked up, trying hard to blink the warm rain from his eyes
“It’s like my poodle, Treacle-Pie, has taken to the skies.”
But soon he got a shock, for Treacle-Pie was better bred
Yet Santa’s leading ‘reindeer’ dropped a squelcher on his head
In Santa’s sleigh, two tiny kittens climbed up Santa’s beard
But messing with his chin coiffure was just what he most feared
He started slapping at his beard, though still he held the reins
Which caused his sleigh to slalom around two low flying planes
Rum cried out, “Hey, Raisin, I’m quite sure you’d call this fun
But I see a policeman in a chopper… with a gun
Raisin yelled, “I’m not surprised… it’s all got out of hand,
Leap across and tell that mutt he really needs to land.”
Rum looked down - a big mistake - and said, “I’d take a punt
That Walnut, our fake reindeer… is the reindeer at the front
So seeing as we’re something like a mile off the ground
Why don’t you go tell him and then send him to the pound?”
But Santa Claus had simmered down, he bellowed, “Ho Ho Ho,
No ones going nowhere cos we’ve got somewhere to go.”
Raisin gazed at Santa Claus and then she calmly muttered,
“Santa, did you really speak the garbage you just uttered?”
Santa said, Be grateful that at least I can speak Cat,
But I’m not great at gramma; no I’m not too great at that.
But there’s a world of children who will wake up in the morn
And if they have no presents then they shall be so forlorn.”
Walnut as the leading ‘reindeer’ couldn’t help but bellow,
“Here’s a little poser for that rosy, rotund fellow,
Ask him: If he’s truly Santa, why he didn’t pack
A full sleigh load of presents or at least his magic sack.”
Santa gestured Raisin to check out the parcel shelf
“You’ll find a single gift as packaged by my favourite elf.”
She found the gift and Santa said, “Now drop it overboard.”
Another present took its place, yet never had been stored.
Rum had seen his sister drop the present off the side
And watched her drop another in case Santa Claus had lied.
Another gift appeared and Rum asked, “Every single time?”
And Santa said, “It happens without reason, without rhyme.”
Suddenly, Rum flew astern and Raisin hit the deck
And Santa cried, “That German Shepherd… what the flipping heck
When’s he gonna get it that when flying through the skies
If you’re facing backwards… Fuji might be a surprise?”
Raisin shook her head for she was still a little muddled
She’d banged her head and that had left her more than slightly fuddled
Maybe that was what led her to hop from deer to deer
And when she got to Walnut… she whispered in his ear
“I think that I believe this guy, why don’t we play along,
There’s a lass up north who’s longing for a furry thong
But mostly it’s for girls and boys and Rudolph’s long gone, but…
Christmas could be rescued by two kittens and a mutt.”
Walnut said, “I can’t believe your claws are in my skin,
But I see you and little Rum, like you’re my kith and kin
So promise not to call me ‘pooch’ and nevermore a ‘mutt’
And I will gladly lead these reindeer to each house and hut…”
Santa Claus heard every word and knew he’d won them over
And stretched his limbs in readiness to drop gifts over Dover
His confidence was building in the mutt and kitten pair
But soon his head was in the snow, his feet were in the air
He clambered to his feet and stood: his route had not been good
He’d never had to worry about crossing any wood
He saw his sleigh stuck deep in snow and said, “O, pity me,
I never thought I’d see a reindeer cock his leg to pee.”
****
But it would be too cruel to leave this Christmas tale un-done
For Christmas is a time of love and merriment and fun
So…
Rudolph landed gently, he was glancing all about,
“I shall take the lead while you lot do the chucking out.”
And presents were dropped into chimney pots throughout their flight
Even modern houses grew a chimney for a night
When Santa Claus left Walnut, Rum and Raisin with, “So long.”
Rum was truly happy that the lady got her thong.
Copyright ©
Terry Flood
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