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My Blimp Is On The Fritz Again


My blimp is on the fritz again
The hovercraft just popped
I surely cannot take the car
That’s jacked up in the shop

The bus won’t come out to my house
There’s no train tracks nearby
But I must make it to your home
And then you will know why

I thought about our preowned drone
With three brand new rotors
Although after its first flight
It needs three new motors

The pogo stick’s got a bad boing  
The scooter won’t stay up
Our chariot’s as useful as
A two wheeled cracked teacup

I’m not allowed an Army Jeep
All due to my low rank
Since camouflage is so improved
I’ve yet to find the tank

The last time that I rode a horse
I hollered giddy-up
But wedged it in an alleyway
And couldn’t back it up

Nobody wants to ride by mule
Or jump aboard the ox
It’s hard enough to find it shoes
Or buy it matching sox

The rocket has a busted tip
And they won’t make a shuttle
Since NASA landed its last ship
Directly in a puddle

I’ll try the trolley, tram, or T
The Metro, or subway
But come to think not one of those
Will lead to your driveway

I can’t take the snowmobile
Nor snowshoes without snow
But I’d consider my new skies
If there was a rope tow

Our plane still has a crooked wing
The golf cart needs a tire
My bike is broke, and the kid’s quad 
Was melted in a fire

I think I parked the motorbike
Inside the motor home
But then my son lent both of them
To someone named Jerome

The ocean yacht’s still wrapped up tight
Next to the new kayak
But since we always get seasick
We’d like to bring them back

As you can see I’m in a bind
Almost out of my wits
Which all began when I learned that
My blimp was on the fritz

So if I make it to your house
Promise you will not skimp
On buying the right parts next time
You’re asked to fix my blimp

Copyright © David Fisher

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Book: Shattered Sighs