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Where art thou unknown spellcaster

Where art thou unknown spellcaster?

If in fact such a female and/or male exists
an insufferable existence clamors for surcease
against riptide of ineradicable anguish.

Living hand to mouth
for majority of mein kampf
(elle ex vee orbitz
roam'n around the nearest star)
punctuated with disequilibrium,
a comma date ting me
with penury and perdition.

Mental health issues aplenty
wrought courtesy congenital characteristics
manifestation of nasality
(thank submucous cleft palate)
linkedin with body dysmorphic disorder,
(whereat skinny legs 
veritable spindleshanks of mine -
easily mistakenly 
belong to generic flamingo)
laughably mismatched

and abhorred by yours truly,
a rather diminutive sexagenarian,
(okay, I stand tall)
at approximately seventy inches,
and weigh about
one hundred and forty five pounds
converted into British weight
equals10.3571428571 stone
whose reedy voice
easily increases in pitch,

when he (regularly)
experienced social anxiety
attendant with concomitant
physiological symptoms
such as: vertiginous undulations,
sweaty palms (palmar hyperhidrosis),
surge of adrenaline,
racing heart, and queasiness to boot
eased compliments nine medications
lastly pinhead (in my mind) caps off
anorexia nervosa scarred physique.

Academic and employment travails galore
dogged, hounded, lobbed at frangible psyche
I marginally experienced
high marks in school
but suffered cognitive difficulties
witnessed courtesy poor grades,
and getting promoted by skin of teeth;
A similarly unflattering track record
exhibited upon commencement
acquiring and retaining
sporadic gainful employment,

which stints getting hired
frequently quickly found me terminated
much to the chagrin
and anger from parents,
whereby strong emotions
(laced with colorful expletives)
found yours truly standing silent
allowing, enabling, and providing
rage against singular son
to internalize verbal assaults
upon my consciousness

further exacerbating
predisposition to psychological maladies
ill suited to marriage or fatherhood
both endeavors embarked upon
at the expense of now grown daughters,
whose childhood years
festered with indigence,
and pathetic excuse for father
plus emotionally immature
absolute zero worthiness as helpmate.

Thus...no surprise
Wrath Of Khan chosen as theme song
replays itself reminding me,
I never did nor ever will belong
to human race, a punishment
accompanied by other outliers among
the forbidding and desolate tract.

Copyright © Matthew Harris

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things