Indecisive
Alone,
In the dark of my room,
I’m overcome,
By the well of emotions,
Lying dormant in my chest.
Never ending,
Seemingly pointless,
They sleep restless,
Waiting for acknowledgement—
That I’ll never give.
Not knowing which emotions are volatile,
Makes me anxious.
For if I slip,
I might release those weapons,
Instead of my gifts,
Towards the crowds of kindness,
The waves of gratitude,
The sea of generosity—
I feel like a pebble of misfortune and cruelty.
Sent to ruin the balance,
My hands only cause pain,
My heart has everything to gain—
While they have everything to lose.
My walls stare back at me,
In the silence of my room,
As they judge my being,
And question my worth,
Deciding whether or not they’ll cave in—
Just to give me what I deserve.
Or,
What I would deserve,
If I was the pebble of misfortune,
In a sea of gratitude.
But my mind sways with the ocean currents,
Flipping through my plethora of personalities,
Judging whether or not,
I’m truly that bad—
Or just unsure,
Whilst I sit alone,
In the dark of my room—
I don’t think I’ll ever be sure.
Copyright ©
Claire Godenir
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