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april 14 my computer is plotting against me
Sometimes I think
My computer is plotting against me
And only me!
Trying deliberately to drive me mad.
My computer knows
When I am busy,
Then it throws a hissy fit.
Constantly Crashing
It often refuses to boot up,
And crashes constantly.
It loses data it had the day before.
Or five minutes before.
Or refuses to save the data.
Just messing with me.
As it loves toying with me
Making me yell and scream
On my computer screen.
Can’t Open Files
Often when trying to open
A document in Word,
The Word open file button
Fails to respond
Sometimes you have to wait
Five minutes for it to respond.
Or when trying to open a file
The computer opens a random file
Instead.
Or when trying to open a document
It kicks you out
Often several times
Random Blue Screen of Death
Cursing up a blue stream of blue curses
As the blue screen of death
Marches across the dark blue screen
Smiling at me.
Years ago my computer
converted everything
to the number 6 endlessly scrolling
down the blue screen of death.
Endless Non-Response Spinning blue wheels
Copy and Paste Wiping out document text
Or when doing a simple copy-and-paste function
The computer defaults to the last command
Making you have to do it again and again
Up to five times sometimes
And on a random basis
The copy and paste function
Wipes out all data
In the document
And to add insult to injury
Deletes all previously saved version
Sending the data
Into computer limbo land
Never to be found again
All without warning
Just zip it's gone!
Frozen Num Lock
Another thing
My computer loves doing
Is on a random basis,
Turn the numbs lock on
Without warning
Turning text into numbers.
Requiring you to manually
Turn off the number lock.
Defaulting to Foreign Languages
A very annoying feature
Is that when you log in from overseas
Everything defaults to a foreign language
Usually without the ability to change
It back to English
Mission Accomplished
And all the other gobbledygook messages
That pops up every five minutes, it seems
As the computer slowly drives me mad.
Flashing the final insult
User-driven mad
Mission accomplished.
Copyright ©
Jake Aller
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