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Open Minded Ike
Open minded Ike, who hailed from County Pike
Inherited a classic Indian Motor Bike
Being open minded and concerned it might offend
He buried it in the land fill of South Bend
Open minded Ike lived on the old family farm
Being concerned with the climate change alarm
He killed off all the cattle and hogs
Keeping only a couple of sheep dogs
Then since the farm lay fallow and lax
Open minded Ike could no longer pay the tax
The county came and took it away
Open minded Ike still complains to this day
Open minded Ike set out to get a job at the mill
Two hours of paperwork they asked him to fill
Despite two degrees from the university
Open minded Ike got no job, he was of the wrong diversity
Faced with having to live on the street
And having no money to buy food to eat
Open minded Ike was forced to live from the till
Of his sister and her husband Bigoted Bill
Now Bill owned a company that did heating and air
They also made plumbing repairs
Open minded Ike thought him an intolerant ox
Bigoted Bill sometimes watched the vulgarians on Fox
Open minded Ike seethed at the way his sister did mistreat
At least once a week he was served red meat
He finally exploded and screamed out his dismay
The evening Bill grilled him a filet
Open minded Ike stayed for over a year
Thinking nothing of drinking Bigoted Bill’s beer
He searched for jobs within his degrees
None was quite right for Ike don’t you see
So Bigoted Bill said to Ike in late summer
I could really use a good plumber
I’ll teach you the trade
There’s money to be made
Open minded Ike took offense at Bills offer
Thinking Bill was quite the tosser
Now it was around three months later
When open minded Ike found Bill was a hater
Bill came to Ike saying it’s time to move out on your own
After all you are a man fully grown
Open minded Ike threw his hands in the air
Shook his head and shrugged in despair
He would be most pleased to move out
And get away from Bigoted Bill the lout
Bigoted Bill gave Ike a used van
Then stuffed his wallet with a couple of grand
Open minded Ike was a man with no plan
So, he headed for Cook County and his ex-wife Lou Ann
Lou Ann was now married to a buffoon named Stan
Open minded Ike saw Stan as a pitiful little man
For Stan drove a bus for the CTA
And went to church every Sunday
Lou Ann and Stan had five in their clan
Open minded Ike of children was no fan
Lou Ann and Ike were only married a brief time
Ike could not tolerate Lou Anne’s closed mind
She could not except he had other loves in his life
That he simply loved her the best, so he made her his wife
Open minded Ike arrived on a Saturday morning
He just drove up the drive having given no warning
On the way there he’d hatched his plan
He’d ask to camp out in his van at the home of Lou Ann and Stan
Both Lou Ann and Stan found fault with Ike’s plan
But Stan knew a man who had land where Ike could stay in his van
His name was Bob
He could also give Ike a job
Now open-minded Ike didn’t feel this was right
And he began to protest and fight
Forcing Lou Ann and Stan to ask him to leave
A despiteful act open minded Ike did believe
So once again Ike set out in his van
Cursing his fate of living in a close-minded land
Now I’m not sure what verdict you find
As this fateful tail did unwind
I can only say there are few folks as ridiculous and blind
As the folks proclaiming to have an open mind
Copyright ©
Kenneth Cheney
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