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Hms Detention
That old wooden box that we nailed to a plank
The pram in the ditch that required a good yank
All that we needed was front and back wheels
We wouldn’t need brakes for we had rubber heels
The front wheels we fixed with some bent-over nails
At that point we didn’t think we would need sails
The back wheels meant even more nails needed bending
And soon there’d be holes in our jeans needing mending
For steering we tied on a length of old rope
I still wonder now how that rope never broke
At the brow of the hill with a push for a start
I lost all control of that ramshackle cart
I laugh at it now, for the memory’s fond
I wasn’t amused when I ditched in the pond
To save face I said that that’s what I intended
And then said my cart racing exploits have ended
For here there’s an ‘ocean’ and here there is wood
So let’s build a boat and let’s build it real good
We mounted a mast with a very big nail
And Grandma’s best bath towel was used as a sail
From Granddaddy’s shed some string gave it tension
And then I said this boat I name ‘The Detention’
We’d left all the wheels on, it looked kinda hideous
But I wasn’t daft, I had made it amphibious
Our boat’s maiden voyage now had to ensue
But this time, for ballast, I grabbed me a crew
I yelled ‘All aboard’ and me and my brother
Set off with Freddie… (the head is his mother)
If I had been older I’d claim I was drunk
When we hit the water the bloody thing sunk
Covered in mud we smelt like a latrine
And I said ‘Hey lads, it’s a submarine’
But we knew the head wouldn’t be too amused
And soon in her office we all stood accused
She spoke in a tone that you might call sardonic
Our naval past includes vessels iconic
Your boat has made Freddie look like a drowned rat
You called it ‘Detention’… that’s ironic that
10 November 2021
For A Noteworthy ship contest
Sponsor: Robert James Liguori
Copyright ©
Terry Flood
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