Women and their Man
What went wrong with women and why women worry.
Some women worry for it’s in their nature. They grew up watching grandma worry and momma worry. They lack confidence. They too often need reassurance. Their insecurity is one of the main reasons that send their man flying Southwest. Yes insecurities, low self esteem and lack of confidence causes worry and worry brings drama in any relationship.
If you focus on the positive things in your man, in your home, in your relationship and in your life, then and only then you will have a positive outcome. If you focus on the negative things, then and only then the nagging, bickering, jealousy, envy, un-forgiveness and bitterness will hinder your relationship.
If he falls short or messes up, let’s say he cursed his boss out and got fired and he comes home and tells you about it, then as a woman, you tend to use his downfall as a weapon and constantly reminds him by throwing it in his face over and over. You would probably say, that too f’n stupid, you gon go lose yo job, or, we wouldn’t be behind and have all these bills if it wasn’t for you… blah, blah, blah.
After hearing the bickering over and over, the next time he will think twice before he feels comfortable in coming to talk to YOU. Which means, he’ll probably go to a bar or go by his boy, or to another woman who would so eagerly listen to him without being so judgmental. After doing this for a while, he will find comfort in the outside conversations, which may lead to infidelity.
Instead you should say, bae, let me type up some resumes and let’s go online and look for another job, or don’t worry, we gon be alright, everything will work out. Nooo, you don’t support your man like that. You as a woman suppose to be your man’s help mate. Find ways to strengthen him in areas where he is weak and trust me ladies, all men have areas where they are weak, no matter how strong they appear to be. And a strong, confident woman would know the strengths in her man.
Men want a strong woman, but they fear the strength in a woman. That may sound crazy, but it’s true. Women have the upper hand on a man, but most women doesn’t know this because they are too busy bishing.
Please believe me, I am not trying to be so hard on you women because I do know one of the main reasons women are insecure is because of men. If a man cheats, her reaction to this disloyalty causes her to be hurt, jealous, insecure, bitter and now she doesn’t trust you. Now she is worried, why did you do it? Why did you cheat? Was it she’s too fat or she’s not pretty enough? On top of that, she worries if you would do it again and now we are back to square one with the fussing and bishing and him hanging out because he doesn’t want to come home to hear it. When we love strong, they get scared, when we fuss and bish, they run, yet they are usually the ones who created this. And it’s not always just the women, there are some men that are argumentative, jealous and insecure.
Cheating to some men is easy because it doesn’t require a lot of the issues men have to deal with at home, so cheating and hanging out becomes their way out.
One important factor in a relationship is forgiveness. If God can forgive us over and over, who are we not to forgive? Besides, a person’s level of maturity determines if one moves on or lingers on. God definitely has to be in your life, in your home, in your relationship. Before you pray to God for your mate to change, find out what it is about you that you should change, and believe me, we all have something in us that we need to change.
Learn to like some of the things he likes.
If he likes to watch Animal Planet, sit yo lil body down and watch Animal Planet with him.
To some of you, I can so take yo man right now, but I won’t. But I will be his friend and I will listen to him and give him advice to stay with you and work it out. Although MY friendship with him may cause you to be insecure, don’t worry, I’m faithful to you, therefore, you can keep him. So many men say, “You so cool, and I wish my woman was like you.” I have had men to ask me, “How do you know so much?” And I said to them, “observation.” I have learned from my experiences, but I’ve also learned from you, yes you my women friends. I didn’t always know what I know about a man, but I have observed you over the years.
Wow, you have taught me so much from how you treat yo man until I know what to do and what not to do. So I will stop here for a moment and say thank you.
Stop the nagging and the bickering and wake up ladies, get it together, don’t give up, try it again. Yo man so needs you to be there for him, so give your all and by some chance it doesn’t work out, at least you can walk away with your head held high knowing you have done your best. And in all fairness, just as the man needs the woman to be there for him, a woman needs her man to be there for her too.
Remember, trust and communication is a BIG key to a healthy relationship. The words you speak to one another are very powerful, so begin to use words to build each other up, not tear each other down.
After saying that, I must say for the record, not every relationship is bad. There are some good, strong, solid relationships and yes, they too may have issues, but their communication, trust, forgiveness and love for each other allows them to overcome any and all obstacles.
Alright ladies, after the drinking, smoking, fussing, cheating, lying and hanging out late, when it’s all said and done, men really do want to be home.
BE forgiving
BE supportive of him when he is up and when he is down.
BE his lover
BE his friend
BE his helpmate
BE his Queen
BE his everything, and he in return will - BE home.
To the men - Don’t be so quick to run and look for love elsewheres, all you need is ALL at home. Your woman is Your Queen, treat her with respect at all times. Compliment her, provide for her, nurture her and protect her. Your woman so loves you, learn to love her back.
To the women - CHILL
Copyright ©
Colette Dright
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