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School Dazed

Latin waiter….”Et tu Brute”

Artistic restraint
“just why is it that the pumpkin MUST be orange.”

Field trips
A 2nd grader wonders: “Just who is it that the corn stalks?”

Punishment
Write “I must not talk and laugh in class” 500 times*
*I wrote “I must not talk and laugh in class 500 times” 500 times

Grammatical “measurements”
’You have less milk, fewer cookies.” (Sister Aloyisius circa 1953)

Algebraic Anomalies….
”Ya can’t add apples and oranges and get bananas” (Brother Frederick circa 1960)

Detention
“Just cuz someone wrote it don’t mean ya hafta quote it” (detention circa 1962)

Religion…
“There’s nothing original about sin”

Geographic jerrymandering
“they’ll reshape, reform, and rename it all anyway so……”

John G. Lawless
11/20/2022

Copyright © John Lawless

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Book: Shattered Sighs