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Letter to the OED
Dear Oxford English Dictionary editors,
Please consider the following words for inclusion in your next edition:
Amazone - the addictive, ensnaring vortex of shopping online. "She's been on her laptop all day searching for the perfect wedding gown. She's in the Amazone."
Blump - One who sits around like a head with its chicken cut off (a portmanteau of butt and lump). "He lives in the basement playing video games all day, sitting like a blump on a log."
Cavitate - To move oneself towards items of confectionery. "At parties I always cavitate towards the bowl of M&Ms."
Dispepsic - Drinking Coca-Cola products to the exclusion of all others. "I've been dispepsic for a year now, and loving it!"
Flubbergasted - The overwhelming disbelief at gaining 25 pounds. "Why are all my pants super tight all of a sudden? I'm flubbergasted!"
Newbousness - Amateur behavior exhibited by a person brand new to an activity. "Dad's newbousness with his cell phone is so embarrassing!"
Puppulate - What mama pooch does with her suitor after dark. "Nobody puppulates the neighborhood like Princess used to do."
Twitterpate - Spending so much time on social media that one's head takes the shape and color of a blue bird. "My granddaughter's so twitterpated I barely recognized her."
Uncluded - Regarding necessary accessories that must be purchased separately. "AAA batteries are uncluded".
Wikipediatrician - A medical professional specializing in eye strain caused by non-stop reading of Wikipedia articles. "I can barely focus on long distances anymore... better visit my Wikipediatrician."
Copyright ©
John Watt
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