Rum n Raisin 11 - One Hundred Million Years BC
Sneaking into the museum to avoid the sudden rain
Raisin said, “I don’t want to get soaked right through again,
It was bad enough when that truck through that puddle dashed
And you and me - but mainly me - got well and truly splashed.”
Rum said, “Well, we’re indoors now but just look over there
That old guy must have got a drenching… judging by his hair.”
The old guy tapped his ear, “I understand the words you say,
I’ve made a voice translator and I’m speaking ‘Cat’ today.”
Raisin looked at Rum and said, “I’d gladly have a flutter…
He’s either a mad scientist… or else he is a nutter.”
The crazy-haired old fellow said, “You know, you’re not that wrong,
I’m testing out my time machine; why don’t you tag along?”
Rum winked and said to Raisin, “There’s no time machine round here.”
Raisin asked the old man, “Is it in your other ear?”
The strange eccentric fellow said, “However did you know?”
He rubbed his ear and said, “Hold tight… it’s time for us to go.”
Exhibits in glass cases started shaking on their shelves
The walls began revolving as the kittens braced themselves
And then the man and Rum n Raisin sped through time and space
And artefacts whizzed by them from some other time and place
A pilgrim ship went sailing by with cowboys in her wake
Mammoths, sabre-tooths and dodos by an ancient lake
Sundials, clocks and calendars with times and dates a flipping
Earthquakes and erupting mountains, lava spewed and dripping
Railroad engines belching steam on rails that looped the loop
Roman soldiers; Shakespeare’s face; a morris dancing troupe
All of these and more flashed by until the world slowed down
And when it stopped they glanced around - no building and no town
The old man slumped against a tree while Raisin rubbed her head
And Rum came up and said, “I can’t believe we’re not all dead.
Where are we Mr Scientist, have people been before us?”
But Raisin said, “Don’t bother him… just ask that Brontosaurus.”
Sure enough a monster with a very lengthy neck
Came stomping up toward them and the old man said, “O heck.”
Raisin shouted, “Mister, can you get us out of here
I think that now’s a real good time to rub again your ear.”
The old man shrugged, he looked forlorn and said, “Be in no doubt…
That I shall rub my earpiece… when I find where it fell out.”
Rum glared at the scientist. “You’d best find where it’s at
I fear that great big grey giraffe looks set so squash us flat
And you’re not gonna find it up against that tree just sitting
But have you got a name so I shall know who I am hitting?”
The old man said, “I’m Eric; Eric Twiddle is my name
I should have brought a spare because I have three more the same.”
The monster’s head loomed over them and then let out a yelp
Rum and Raisin said at once, “I think he just said ‘Help’.”
Eric cried, “I think you’re right but we must run and hide
There’s a Tyrannosaurus and his jaws are gaping wide.”
The Brontosaurus dropped his head to look in Eric’s eye
He said, “Please help me, Eric,” and he then began to cry
The T. rex was approaching and his words came out like hisses
“It’s supper time dear Bronto and the Doc can do the dishes.”
“Lose the ‘tough guy’, Trexi,” said a voice from nearby trees
and out walked a Triceratops with horns that came in threes
“You always have to bully Bronto till he ups and flees
Yet you could never catch him with your old arthritic knees.”
Eric stood and said, “My friends, I’m glad to see you’re well,
But I feel eyes upon me that intend to give me hell.”
Rum, with one eye on the beasts, said, “Eric, tell me how,
You know a grey Giraffe, a T. rex and a three horned cow!”
Eric said, “I’m sorry but I have been here before
My earpiece is still in my ear and not lost on the floor
But Trexi, here has painful knees that often make him scream
Which frightens all the dinosaurs… so I bring soothing cream
Rum said, “You have friends and some of them are dinosaurs…
If we have a party, then we’re having it at yours.”
Raisin said, “It’s kinda neat, that we’re allowed to meet
Monsters from the past that don’t see us as things to eat.”
Bronto said, “Ahem, I wouldn’t wish to interrupt
But that there T. rex can be awful nasty and abrupt
I’m sorry that I’ve left a little accidental puddle
But every T. rex looks the same and I got in a muddle.”
Rum just winked at Raisin and his sister winked right back
Each of them had thoughts that travelled on the self same track
It isn’t every day you find some Brontosaurus tiddle
So Rum n Raisin jumped in and they splashed down in the middle
The three horned cow that future men would call Triceratops
Said, “Eric, I hear hungry noises from a nearby copse
You really should be gone before it comes in for the kill
No kitten ever could be friends with a Pterodactyl
Eric grabbed the kittens, and he quickly rubbed his ear
“See you soon, my dino friends, for now, I’m outa here.”
Once again the world became a whirly twirly scene
Images flew by of things they knew but hadn’t seen
A brief glimpse of a quill which signed the signature of Chaucer
Followed by a fleeting image of a flying saucer
Elephants and men in tents; a biplane dropped a bomb
In its midst two kittens hoped to land where they came from
As before, their world stopped spinning; everything slowed down
They looked around to see they were in some unknown town
Raisin said, “So tell me, Mister, where you think we are.”
But Rum said, “Why not ask those people… in that flying car?”
*
Raisin simply said, “Old man?” and Rum just muttered, “Eric?”
The old man scratched his head and said, “Perhaps it’s atmospheric.”
He said, “We were so very near,” then quickly rubbed his ear
And once again they sped through time in not a little fear
Then, finally, they came down in among museum cases
And gazed at strange exhibits with confusion on their faces
Four kitten footprints - fossilised - had brought them close to cheers
The sign read, “Strangely early - by a hundred million years.”
Copyright ©
Terry Flood
|