W S Rendra translation of 'Hai Ma' or 'Hi Mom'
My English translation of "Hai Ma" by W. S. Rendra, a son to his mother and soulmate.
HAI MA ("HI MOM")
by W. S. Rendra
translation by Michael R. Burch
for Zeelhan Zahraa
Mom,
It's not death that disheartens my heart
but a lifeless life, a life unlived
because life loses its power and nature.
There are nights when I walk these corridors
with nowhere to go,
the cold air caressing my listless body
chilled despite the absence of wind.
Then the stars become fireflies
emphasizing the immensity of darkness.
No thoughts,
no feelings,
nothing.
Life is fleeting, mom,
but I'm helpless
not to be non-existent.
Sometimes I feel lost in the wilderness,
shunned by mother and father,
rejected by neighbors,
abandoned in the marketplace.
I speak but no one hears.
They rip apart my books; they laugh at my ideals.
I'm angry,
I'm terrified,
I'm trembling,
but I fail to find the words.
Life is fleeting, mom…
Mortality is easy for me to accept,
but sitting here hugging my knees
alone in the savanna
makes my "life" seem worthless.
Sometimes I feel torn apart
by rabid people
just for their amusement.
Life is trivialized by inconsequential prattle
as people fill their time
with irrational arguments,
without consequence,
without romance,
without ecstatic copulation.
Life is fleeting,
of course, mom…
But thought's acrobatics and falsehoods
messed me up inside
and made me scream…
…while not knowing why.
I felt like I'd died over and over again;
nothing surprises me anymore…
…in this "life."
But mom…
whenever I realize you're there,
life returns and I feel the way
blood flows through my body,
my glands excrete,
my soul sings,
the world is present,
the lizard scritches on the wall,
the gardener talks to his son.
My life becomes real.
My nature returns.
Remembering you, mom,
is to remember daily obligations,
the simplicity of prose,
the beauty of poetry.
We always have fun exchanging ideas, mom.
We each have aspirations.
We each have obligations,
at least the real ones.
Hi mom…
Do you remember…
how I hugged you on the boat
when your stomach hurt,
and I how I calmed you down
by kissing your neck?
Masha Allah…
I'm always fascinated by your skin's fragrance.
Do you remember when I said:
"If the end comes, my life was full of meaning!"
Wow, I really couldn't lose,
having you in my life.
And when I write poetry
I feel yesterday and tomorrow
are also today,
that good and bad luck are the same,
that the sky outside and the body
are united in the soul.
That's it, mom…
Copyright © Michael Burch | Year Posted 2025
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