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It Still Hurts

Doesn’t matter how long it’s been

It still hurts after 7 months

I couldn’t be the friend you deserved

So you severed ties 

You wanted to protect your peace

Cannot blame you

Seven months later

I still grieve the friend I thought you were

I failed to be the friend I was supposed to be 

But your screaming and half truths still shatter my heart

I know I ed up 

But so did you

We used to laugh with each other 

Until your laughter felt like pain

You used to be the reason behind my smiles

Now you’re the reason behind my sorrows

Your compassion was performative 

So was my masking 

You called me childish

But then you followed up by shouting at me 

You said I played the victim

But you did too

I never raised my voice at you once 

Yet you raised yours at me 

Your two faced nature 

Your biggest downfall

Your jealousy is cancerous 

It is malignant 

You couldn’t handle a dude giving someone else attention 

So you lashed out on me 

I tried to be your friend

Until my masking began to crumble 

In another lifetime, we could be friends

In this lifetime, we became enemies

You maybe six years older than me

But I was more mature 

Despite our falling out 

Peace and healing is possible 

You went from being sweet 

To incredibly sour 

Like your poisonous ego

It brings pains 

Until you can own up to your  ups

Don’t expect me to speak highly of you

Tell half truths about me?

I’ll tell full truths about you

Like your heart 

They are ugly

Copyright © Marisa Bassin

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