Part 2 Bonding
Day 2
OK, guys, gather round. We’ll just share the thoughts on what you did last night, before we get onto the tasks at hand.
George, would you like to start?
Last night, I was reading the book Business for Forward Thinkers. Applause.
God, slit my throat.
Paul.
Last night, I was helping out at the local church, making up clothes parcels. Smirks.
Julie.
My god, bull, I saw you in the hotel corridor pissed, with no trousers on.
Paul, would you like to respond?
Put them in the clothes parcel, the least I could do.
Ok, let's move on
Today's Task is about total trust in your partner.
That rules you out. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.
Julie, Julie, Thee of little faith, I’m warming to you. I actually see us as a couple after this.
You’re delusional.
Today will see you climbing 2000 ft up a mountain. Anyone wishing to opt out, speak now.
George, I’m out. No head for heights.
You in Paul
Climbing Julie, definitely
You in Julie
I’m in
OK, the instructor has already started the ascent. Julie, for safety reasons, Paul will climb first. You will be attached to him, we’ll keep the distance between ten and fifteen feet.
Hear that, Julie, attached, that’s like a prenuptial
This rope is the nearest attachment you’ll get to me, fifteen feet, don’t forget it.
Have you climbed before
I usually climb down the way
What
Drainpipes, when husbands come home early
God, you’re full of it
OK Julie start climbing
Do you want me to wait Julie
Ten feet at all times [ sleaze bag]
OK with heights Julie
Fine
Need an arm, just holler, not too loud though
Swear to God
Tell me some of your bad habits Julie
Feck off
Think we’ll have two children, what do you think
You won’t be capable of having children
Victor, how does that sound
The V suits you [ass]
Maybe Hotspur for the second
Fecking moron
We could get married on the mountain
Swear to God I’ll do time for you
Once you get to know me
Never hated anybody so much in my life
But you find me exciting
You’re a caveman
A sort of Tarzan
Dinosaur, you should be extinct
You do like men
Yes, just not men like you. Why are you not ten feet up
You’ve made it Julie
What, I’ve reached the top, wow, I’ve climbed a mountain, what now
Now I reach into my rucksack for the glasses and champagne
You brought a bottle of champagne up a mountain
You always toast the climb, Julie
Any other little toasts
Just the stripping off for the mountain
How did I just know that, chancer, read my lips.
Monday. Back in the office.
Julie, Sir Malcolm has summoned you.
Oh, that’s never good.
Go straight in.
Miss Reynolds, or do you prefer Julie?
Julie’s fine.
Right, I won’t beat about the bush, I’ve received the data back from the course. You have outshone, outdone the rest of the candidates, and for that reason, I want to offer you the senior partner's position.
I’ll let you go and think about it, I’ll arrange lunch in the afternoon to discuss things.
How did you find the course?
It was tough but fulfilling, though I could have killed one man on it.
I think that might be Paul Chambers you're talking about. Just as well you didn’t; his recommendation made our decision.
Does he work here?
No, he runs his own company. They tell me he’s very thorough.
You can tell me the gory details in the afternoon.
Right Jenny we’ve been promoted, tasks at hand before I go to lunch.
Two letters, first one is for you. Keep it in your desk till further notice.
To read. In the future, if I become pregnant, and I mention the names Victor or Hotspur to you. Punch me between the eyes very hard.
OK, Julie
Second letter to a Paul Chambers, you’ll find him in resources.
Dear Paul.
Thank you for your recommendation, though you certainly pushed
every conceivable button there was to push over the two days you
were attached to me.
I realise now that you talked me up the mountain, and the anger
you generated, pushed me all the way.
Sorry, I wanted to kill you.
You really did play your part brilliantly.
Thanks.
PS, I still don’t want to sleep with you, sleazebag.
Love Julie. xxxxxx
Copyright ©
Paul Bell
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