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The Wicked Witch of Soup Creek Bites the Dust
Galloping hooves broke morn's peace in Soup Creek's Main Street
When Jimmy Smith rode in from Bar 20 his face white as a sheet
He stopped at Sheriff Koplins office and banged heavily on the door
"What's the hells going on" shouted the Sheriff " it's quarter to four".
Jimmy was distraught and the Sheriff was shocked when he said.
"The whole herd has been poisoned and now they're all lying dead
I found bottles of poison by their water that has now turned black
And only one person could have done this; the witch in the shack".
Sheriff Koplin said "I'm still waking up, I need some strong coffee
Then in a couple of hours I'll head over there with an armed posse"
He poured a strong one for Jimmy and it helped calm him down
Saying "if we find evidence she will face justice before sundown".
About seven o'clock Deputy Terry walked in with a cheery hello
Sherrif said "go and get Dave he's probably over at the bordello"
Terry started laughing and said " yup, I'm sure that's where he'll be
He says he always goes there cos he likes their cheap whiskey".
After about half an hour the posse were assembled outside
Jenna heard what was going on and said "I'll come for the ride"
It was about a half hours ride down a rough and rugged track
There at the the foot of the mountain stood the witches shack.
When they got near they all dismounted and circled the shack
Guns drawn and at the ready in case she launched an attack
The Sheriff shouted "come out with your hands above your head"
She shouted back "you come any nearer and I'll shoot y'all dead".
The Sheriff pointed at her chimney that was spewing out smoke
Told Terry to block it with a blanket and that hopefully she'd choke
It worked and she came running out with a small knife in her hand
Saying "I ain't done nothing wrong and y'all trespassing on my land".
The posse got nervous when they saw her and could only stare
She looked filthy with large buck teeth and had wild unkept hair
And sunken evil black piercing eyes that proves looks can kill
"What a vile creature "Jenna whispered "she belongs in Boot Hill".
She froze when she saw all the guns that were aimed at her head
The smoke cleared and Dave went in finding bottles under her bed
She cackled saying " ha ha yes it was me who poisoned Jim's herd"
Sheriff said "we're taking you in so don't you breath another word".
She was put on a horse and hands tied firmly behind her back
Terry collected all the bottles of poison and put them in a sack
The Sheriff said "you'll a face trial so you can give up on all hope
In a few hours time you'll be dangling from the end of a rope".
They went back to the sheriffs office and she was put in jail
Laughed at the Sheriff saying "if I let you have me will I get bail?"
" No thank you witch I couldn't cope with your obnoxious smell
Maybe try it on with your lover later when you get to hell".
Ranger Dave came in and said "Sheriff the gallows are ready
But Milton has been drinking and his hands aren't too steady"
The witch was taken outside and took everyone by surprise
By grabbing Terry's gun but Jenna shot her between the eyes.
She keeled over falling into a blood puddle on dusty ground
A crowd had now gathered outside and there wasn't a sound
"Justice was served" said Mayor Tom "we should have a wake
I'll take you all to Anaya's steak house for a nice juicy steak".
They all went to Anaya's place and Mayor Tom footed the bill
Then Tom and Terry loaded the wagon for the ride to Boot Hill
They put the witch in an empty grave but no cross was placed
Tom said "evildoers ain't getting one and she was disgraced".
It went eerily quiet and they both heard a loud cackling sound
Tom told Terry" get back on the wagon there's some evil around
The devil's come for his evil bride and he's probably feeling frisky
Deb's doing happy hour and Tania's singing and we need whisky".
Tom got on the wagon, Terry was well spooked and didn't speak
And didn't open his mouth until he saw the lights in Soup Creek
He said "mayor how is it you're so calm when dealing with the dead"
Tom said " I don't give it much thought so it don't get in my head".
Then Terry said "I ain't been here too long , who the hell was she?
I know they all called her the witch and she looked like a banshee"
Tom said "rumour has it she hung out with thieves and serial killers
Worked In a bordello in Texas selling herself to the highest bidders".
They arrived in time for happy hour and the party was in full swing
Terry was pleased that they'd arrived just in time to hear Tania sing
She was joined by another girl who was on holiday from Canada
Her name was Constance and she was a good friend of Tania.
Townsfolk were celebrating that another baddy had been put away
Everyone in the saloon agreed it had been quite an eventful day
Then Deb shouted out "happy hour is over from now it's full price"
There was a hush then sounds of clattering as Milton threw the dice.
Written on 20th December 2022
Copyright ©
Tom Cunningham
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