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Incommodious Em Bare Ass Sing Accident

While out and about
an unexpected over bare ring bout
to defecate arose,
     where sphincter asserted clout
and would excrete
     despite without doubt...

if closing distance
     (to reach rental abode)
beaten out by loosening sphincter muscle
     transmitting excretory code

set sights on prowl for outlawed, secluded,
     and wooded make shift commode
and essentially for naught negating
     toddler toilet training, sans

     getting potty trained undone
     via my tushy ready to explode
and blast immense solid waste byproduct
     (oh...close to the size of Rhode Island)

thus a marathon race against time
found immediate readiness to pull off roadside
     to access make shift water closet
     generating image firmly in pooping mode

     grabbing hold of a tree trunk
     (a mini rocky horror picture show, -
     this analogy included for no particular reason

     other than as a non-sequitur)
     and also to convey, how I tried
     to allay distractions
     while painful contractions flowed
(perhaps approximating woman

     on verge of giving birth)
but...no matter, aye could envision,
     an ever increasing heavy m*****f****** load
hence approaching Highland Manor Apartments

     this chap abandoned
     prior simultaneous evacuation plan
     starkly aware probability for secluded spot sunk
(nonetheless, thy darting darting

     anguish, futile lizard like lookout,
     a geico Gekko whose cheeks did blush
     even for a measly Georgian bush
quickened nsync with rectal spasms

     visual scouting industrialized
     where backhoes didst crush
once a time sacred happy hunting grounds
     of native Americans, now royally flush

with newly built vinyl city re: urban sprawl a gush,
where cookie cutter houses long since bringing hush
     puppies muzzled, yet never the less and mush
a doo doo about nothing) except sprint

     ting to the verizon with a void push
immortalizing indigenous tribes ghosts rush
peopling infrastructure affixing
     urbanization with lamb basted, 
     and sigh lance warrior whoosh!

Copyright © Matthew Harris




Book: Reflection on the Important Things