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Pet Peeves

How about when stores jack up their prices Then reduce them and call it a sale I've been on to these devious practices for years Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed Annoying commercials that treat us like morons As if we're gonna fall for that stuff Like if you brush with mint flavoured toothpaste Your sweetie will greet you in the buff How about optometrists with really bad breath As they lean over to adjust that eye thing More than once I nearly passed out in the chair Need a sign on the door with a warning Or when you're at a game with the whole family And a guy gets drunk and obnoxious Using every cuss word ever known to mankind You wish you could muzzle this ignoramus You pay scads of dough for a vacation down south And it rains every day of your stay Your condo smells like the back end of a donkey A most forgettable vacation I'd say Well I'm sure most people can relate to these You probably have a bunch of your own Should be a service called Pet Peeves Anonymous Or a help line you could contact by phone

Copyright © Jack Ellison

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things