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A Reflection of my Bipolar Mania
Have you ever touched the universe
And felt its power course through your veins?
Felt the alleviation of all your pain?
Have you ever woken up in the morning
And realized you were at the very center
Of all creation?
That everything happening to you
Had a simple explanation?
Have you held a superpower in your hands
And genuinely believed you could change the world?
That you are more than just a simple girl,
I have.
I have lived as an immortal god
With a divine purpose.
Born again without the curses,
Do you know how Jesus felt
When he knew his role
Was to be sacrificed
For the good of us all?
I know it completely.
I have lived ten thousand lifetimes simultaneously
And seen the world through a fractured perspective.
How everything is connected.
I have seen the reincarnation of my grandfather
As a golden retriever no longer bothered,
I watched time reverse
And gave birth to my own universe.
Have you ever been so miserable
That your mind creates a world of its own for you to hide in?
A world of gods and heroes,
A world of ghosts and goblins?
A world where that pain you can’t run from
Means something other than a miserable existence.
Can you blame me for getting lost in such a world?
For having no resistance,
Look around you.
Is that what you call happiness?
With all your goals and all your classiness?
You don’t know the meaning of the word.
Of all the things you have incurred,
Do you know what you would feel,
If that desire you covet deep inside you was real?
You think you know misery?
Your mind knows all your darkest secrets.
Every time you spoke to Jesus,
What would you do,
If that mind started to use those secrets against you?
What if you could touch and taste and smell something imaginary?
Could you tell the difference between that and reality?
Knowing that if you get it wrong
You will be locked away from society.
Would you tether yourself to what you are told is true
And hope that society isn’t just as delusional as you?
Do you know what it means
To truly pull yourself back from the edge?
To live on the cusp between life and death?
Have you nearly killed yourself
While laughing uncontrollably? No?
Well, this is my story.
Copyright ©
Laura Davies
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